Announcer: THE 3RD OF DECEMBER! IT'S A FRIDAY EVERYONE! AAAANND HERE IT IS! AT BLACK CREST SCHOOL! THE 5TH AND FINAL TASK OF THE PENTI-PRESENT TOURNAMENT!
(Cheers, the stands are shaped like the Colosseum in Rome, and the final five competitors are in Roman armour, with long swords and large shields for weapons.)
Announcer: THE BASIC IDEA CAMERAS WILL OBSERVE THE COMPETITORS AS THEY MAKE THERE WAY THOUGH THIS LABYRINTH!
Imogen: How original, I guess there's a trophy in the middle…
ANNOUNCER: AND THE FIRST COMPETITOR, TO REACH THE TROPHY I THE MIDDLE (Imogen scoffs) WILL WIN THE TOURNAMENT, YOU CANNOT WITHDRAW, ONCE YOU'RE IN, YOU EITHER HIDE OR DIE, BUT WHEN THE TROPHY IS LIFTED, THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED!
Announcer: AND NOW CAN WE HAVE A MASSIVE HAND FOR THE FUNDERS OF THIS TOURNAMENT!
George (gasps): IT’S CAZ'S PARENTS!
Daz: Always the fucking in-laws.
Caz’s mum: Yes, I and my husband here decided to give the competitors of the tournament a sweet taste of our medicine, in memory of our late daughter and other parents decided to chip in too...
Lucy: That explains it all, the parents want Greg dead so all these events in the town will stop and their children will be safe.
Jaya: Does the word hypocrite ring a bell with them? They have caused this event!
Thomas: And failed to kill Greg!
Chantelle: Let's just face it, it's here to stay.
Charmaine: His name's Greg, Chantelle.
Chaniqua: WTF did you just say?
Charmaine: Nothin' what da fuck are you about?
Dean: They still have one task to do, to kill Greg, and Elliot and Imogen are in there.
Lucy: Come on White View trio.
Gordon: WIN FOR ME!
Gordon: I mean yeah, cool…
Florence; NO THOU ART WIN FOR ME!
Jack: Ugh, attention whore.
Andrew: No that title is for me.
(The five are ready to enter the labyrinth)
Announcer: FROM FIRST TILL FIFTH, YOU'LL ENTER THE LABYRINTH, SO THE FIRST PLACER KYLE GETS A HEAD START! ARE YOU READY, GET SET…GO!
(Kyle enters, followed by Leanne, then Greg, then Imogen and finally Elliot)
Greg: Okay, I'm alone, find Kyle, kill him, or find the trophy. Man I am talking to myself I sound crazy.
(Imogen watches him from nearby)
Imogen: Well forget approaching him his gone mad, but this is so Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire its criminal. With a terrible mix of Roman and Greek history thrown in, next thing I know the trophy will probably turn out to be a portkey…
(Elliot watches her from nearby)
Elliot: Well she has lost itm talking to herself, lucky I'm normal and can have my stand out role, now just need to find the trophy…
(Leanne watches him from nearby)
Leanne: Well he has completely lost the fucking plot, forget approaching him. I'll find an easier kill, now where is this bloody trophy…
(Kyle watches from her from nearby)
Kyle: She's cuckoo, find the trophy, kill Greg. Lots of blood… yes… lots of blood… I think I'm the only sane one here.
(After around an hour of eerie stumbling in the labyrinth, Greg turns a corner and sees the trophy)
(he goes to pick it up, just as Kyle dives onto him)
Kyle: Oh no you don't.
(Imogen turns up and tries to save Greg, but Leanne also shows up at this point, and needless to say, the catfight begins)
Greg and Kyle (in bloody fight): DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Leanne and Imogen: DIE YOU FUCKING CUNT!
(Elliot sneaks onto the scene and sees the trophy)
Elliot: YES IT'S MINE!
(Elliot reaches out to touch the trophy...)
(… and lifts it up, as he does the grounds of Black Crest explode and several explosions occur in the labyrinth and in the stands, the five competitors are blown away from each other in the explosion and are injured the labyrinth walls are burnt to smithereens, the stands are blown to bits)
(A piece of derbies just about misses her head)
Naz: I'M ALIVE, WOOO!
At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking, I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along
And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on now, go, walk out the door, just turn around now'
Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one, who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh, no, not I, I will survive… (She is then hit by a flying bus and killed instantly)
Chantelle: Oh well, money grabbing whore anyhow.
(The explosion stops, in the rubble several people are dead…)
Imogen: Was that part of the challenge?
Greg: Ow, my ribs, come on we have to check on the others.
(Leanne and Kyle are stuck under rubble)
Kyle (bleeding): wait- were not… DONE!… get back here, finish the game!
(Greg resists the urge to go back and finish him off, he needs to check if his friends are safe first he and Imogen stumble to the stands Elliot stumbling after them)
Kyle: Playing fair is he? Shame on him...
Greg: GEORGE ARE YOU OKAY!?
George: No, my head, my head…
Random Slag in the Crowd: MY LEG! MY LEG!
Chelsea (despite being impaled with giant piece of derbies which as ripped her lungs from her body) It's okay everyone! I'm fine! But I can't breathe.
Helpless TA: I'm alive too, didn't have to the luck to die, let’s put those lungs back in then Chelsea.
Lucy: Imogen! HELP DEAN HIS…
(Dean has been hit by giant piece of rubble and is bleeding heavily)
Lucy (sobbing): Dean, please be okay.
Dean: (raspy voice) Lucy… I'm dying… I just wanted to say I'm sorry…
Lucy: Me too…
Elliot: Guys… (Bleeding from mouth) I… won.
Dean: Well done mate.
Elliot: Dean, Lucy I did it, I won… (Looks down at pipe impaling his lungs)
Lucy: (spotting this) NO! (Elliot collapses next to Dean)
Lucy: DON'T DIE ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE! PLEASE NO!
Elliot: Lucy, you were great, you truly were, I see you as a soul mate… a best mate…
Lucy: Don't say that... please!
Elliot: One last kiss… please…
(Lucy smiles warmly, and with tears flowing down her face she kisses both Dean and Elliot on the cheek)
Lucy: Thank you guys for everything.
Dean and Elliot: And you…
(They face each other)
Dean: See you on the other side, pal.
Elliot: You too, brother.
Dean: It hurts though… dying…
Elliot: We'll be okay… in the end… I guess we did okay…
(They both go still and after a short while Dean and Elliot are dead)
Lucy: (in hysterics): No, no, no…!
(She holds the bodies and links their arms together and engraves under their body in the dirt she writes BROTHERS IN ARMS DEAN AND ELLIOT.
Gordon (sobbing): So beautiful…
(Odd stare from Ryan)
Gordon: I mean it’s sad ya get me…
Sarah: Rhys no…
(Rhys protected Sarah from the explosion, but has been struck in the head by shrapnel and is dying)
Sarah: RHYS DON'T LEAVE ME!
Rhys: I protected you, stood up for you, finally like I should have, I'm happy now Sarah. But you need to keep going, and keep fighting for equal rights.
Sarah: You tried, you were scared Rhys, it's natural. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you (Rhys raises eyebrow)
Sarah: Okay so you were a bit cowardly, I'll admit, but I can't lose my loveable coward.
Rhys: Honesty hey, the best policy but I'm glad I finally did something I'm proud of…
Mrs Conrad: (cutting in) as unbearably romantic as this is I would just like to inform you Rhys has wet himself.
Sarah: Who cares Miss? I don't care at all, I love him.
Mrs Conrad: Ugh…
Rhys: I love you too, I never cared you if you were ginger.
Sarah: If only... if only Greg had never come! Then everything would be the same and we'd be in the bunker now, loving each other…
Rhys: Don't say that. Progress isn't that straightforward. Real progress comes with loss.
(He takes a shuddering breath before he goes still. Rhys is dead)
George: Dean, Elliot, Naz, and now Rhys, God whose next.
(The announcer to the games is dead, as are most of the officials)
Andrew: I'm okay George, geroff me.
Richard: And me’s.
Jaya: I am also unharmed.
(Asif, Sanjay and Thomas, Ryan, John, Aaron, Gordon, Charmaine, Chaniqua, Chantelle, Jack and Florence are injured but still alive)
Mrs Conrad: I am fine obviously, but they are not…
(Grabs Caz' mum by the neck)
Mrs Conrad: You know what the explosions were, explain... now!
Caz’s mum: Frank Tibet managed to set up a trap, explosive devices under his school for years. He was willing to use to rid of Greg Winters.
Imogen: Why would there be explosive devices under a school?
Mrs Conrad: Its Black Crest, what do you expect?
Caz’s Mum: Anyhow we knew Greg had to die; to stop the chav's being upset and stop the deaths of innocents like my daughter, so we planned a massive suicide plot, link the trophy to the devices, so that when it was lifted all the explosives would go off, blowing up everyone and killing Greg and his White View scum friends for good. The headmaster of Mortdale high helped us with this plan as he hated the anti-chav presence of Greg as much as his friend Frank did.
Greg: Frank Tibet has friends?
Mrs Conrad: Silence Greg! So the entire tournament was a way to get us all too then final task and then blow us up to kill us all.
Caz's Mum: Yes but for some reason, it failed, I was accepting to die, as were all of us parents if it meant killing Greg, but Leanne and Kyle didn't know their role was kill Greg in the challenges, if not we had this back up plan ready… AND SHIT! SOMEHOW THAT BOY IS STILL ALIVE! HOW? THE FIELD WAS SUPPOSE TO BE BLOWN TO BITS! AS WELL AS THE MAZE, ONLY A FEW WENT OFF WHY?
Voice: I can answer that…
(From underground Terry and Kerry appear)
Greg: Guys you're back!
Kerry: Told ya we'd protect you Greg.
Terry: Saw this rootin tootin thing on TV, we had to come over eventually to sort it, we came right on time, unlike the police here, we knew what a explosives were when we saw them being loaded into trucks and into this black crest school, we snuck in with the crowds and then we found the way underground though the maintenance tunnels.
Terry: Me, being good with explosives and all, managed to deactivate a fair few, but still quite a lot went off, me and Kerry here barely survived being crushed underground, but we did anyhow, no idea what the explosives were for but knew they was being used with a crowd above had to try and stop it.
Suzanne (injured, lagging her dead cameraman along, gone slightly mad): Once again you two policeman have managed to save this boy's life and many others, any words?
Terry: Yes for the ladies…
Kerry (coughs): We guard our friend here, Greg, no matter what.
Greg: Guys, once again you saved me. I can never thank you enough.
Kerry: Greg, I really want you to move back to Alabama but I know that would take months and seeing what happens in this town in a couple of weeks. (sighs) we’ll go back to Alabama but we'll come back, I'll bet you.
Greg: I owe you my life.
(They exchange numbers)
Terry: Okay call if there's any trouble. Because I get lots of credit at home for being a hero and protecting you and all…
Kerry: Well until next time, wait hang on (manages to knock out the headmaster of Mortdale Secondary School was clearly trying to sneak away from the scene)
Terry: Nice one.
Kerry: Thanks, anyhow Greg until next time.
Greg: Next time…
Thomas: And I have not detected one plot hole this time.
Helpless TA: Such an amazing plan, I'm envious.
Wilhelmina: (stumbling up to them, alive somehow) I can find several plot holes actually…
All: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!?
Wilhelmina: Jeez, fine I'm going.
Mrs Conrad: Yes get out of this universe and never return with your dialogue, or ridiculous name.