Daz: GREG, GET THE FUCK UP!
Greg: Whoa, what in the deep blue yonder's going on?
Naz: Bab, you slept in, there's only 10 minutes until the first challenge.
Daz: QUICK GREG GET FUCKING DRESSED, OR YOU'LL MISS IT!
Greg: (thinking): Maybe that's a good thing… actually forget that Daz looks ready to kill me with his bare hands.
(Gets dressed and runs to St. Amanda’s)
Daz: GOOD LUCK!
Naz: REMEMBER, NO PRESSURE JUST MILLIONS OF POUNDS ON THE LINE!
Greg: Yeah, no pressure… (He gasps when seeing St. Amanda's the whole of Mortdale seems to have turned up, giant TV Screens are dotted around the place, and there are massive stands in which can seat thousands).
Greg: Holy… shit.
Mrs Conrad: There you are, quick inside! The competitors will be entering from a special point.
Greg: Mrs, I didn't think it would be… this… this big.
Mrs Conrad: Neither did I, but the idea seemed very popular.
Greg: (thinking): Great, they probably all want to see my guts get ripped out for being the biggest anti chav around…
Suzanne: ...and so were are live here in Mortdale (snarling) once again (back to normal tone) the town that saw the war of two schools, the incident at nearby Felicity Crafts theme park. I can now report that crowds have flocked in to see the deadly Penti-Present Tournament, a lethal contest. Which has concerned human rights groups across the country, however councillors believe that the tournament will bring this community together and so it has been given the green light and here we give to you live… oh hang on there seem to be protesters over there, wait they are…
(Zooms in, on a group of Gingers, boys and Girls led by Sarah)
Sarah (chanting): GINGERS FOR JUSTICE! GINGERS FOR JUSTICE!
Random Slag in the Crowd: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Sarah: NO BLOODY WAY! GINGERS FOR JUSTICE! GINGERS FOR JUSTICE!
Rhys: Sarah, get down, why are you doing this?
Sarah: THE GINGERS WILL NO LONGER BE OPRESSED IN THIS MANNER! GINGERS FOR JUSTICE!
Rhys: Sarah this is on live TV!
Sarah: GOOD! I WANT PEOPLE TO SEE THIS!
Official (approaching her) : If we agree to let you have the right to show your hair and sit with the ordinary people, in the ordinary section (gazes at the segregated seats for gingers) than will you please SHUT UP!
Sarah: Yes we will take that!
Official: Thank you, Just no more, of that… ugh…
Sarah: Thanks for the support Rhys.
Rhys: Sarah you know it's hard, being a ginger's boyfriend and all.
Sarah: TRY BEING A GINGER THEN!
Thomas: Rhys, you had the nerve to call me a coward and selfish well…
Chaniqua: Does the word Hypocrite ring a bell with you?
Thomas: Hey I was gonna say that.
Chaniqua: Yeah well, I never get say that much so I saw a chance and I took it day I? Anyway what's that doing here?
(Points at Sarah)
Sanjay: The gingers have just been allowed to sit with us.
Charmaine: WTF! What is the world coming too?
Sarah: Oh for God's sake, for one, I have a name and I'm not an object.
Chaniqua: Ugh, doe sit by me, I'll catch Gingeraliltos.
Sarah: That’s illness is a prejudiced based child's myth.
Chantelle: It's true though, along with the gingers having no souls and the souls they absorb are shown by the freckles on their face.
Sarah: See Rhys, this is the kind of prejudice I need to stand up too.
Rhys: I know, but people just aren't understanding of Gingers.
Sarah: Well it's time this prejudice had to end.
Sanjay and Thomas: Well were Team Asif.
Ryan, Aaron, Chantelle, Charmaine and Chaniqua: TEAM GORDON!
Ryan: Oi John aren't you team Gordon?
John: Nah man that's fake and gay.
Jack: Why are you even here then, if this is fake and Gay?
John: Because staying at home is fake and gay.
Jack: There's no winning with you.
Rhys: So we are team Greg?
Jack: Yeah, hey Florence looks like you really have managed to stay quiet and in control. (He is proud of a mute and still Florence)
Jack, Sarah and Rhys: TEAM GREG!
(Florence is still mute)
Jack: Well done Florence, not drawing any attention to yourself (thinking) this is just gonna make it ten times harder for me.
Jaya: My team is undecided.
Chelsea: I think I'm Team Gordon… Helpless TA what team am I?
Helpless TA: Ugh, team Fucking Florence for all I care.
Lucy: I don't know whether I should be Team Imogen, or Team Elliot.
Dean: Be team Imogen, I will.
Lucy: No, I'll be Team Elliot I've known him longer.
Chantelle: God how sad, Elliot only has one supporter.
Thomas: So does Imogen.
Charmaine: Who the fuck you on about?
Mrs Conrad: Okay you five, get ready, smiles for the crowd, the pressure is on.
Gordon: So we will know what we're doing when we get out there?
Mrs Conrad (barely concealing glee): Oh I can say it will be an uplifting experience.
Imogen: Great, thanks Mum.
(They proceed out and the scene is set)
(The field has been converted into a runaway, five small fighter planes are scattered about, there is large crowd roaring as the competitors come onto the pitch)
George (watching from TV at Hospital): Come on Greg! You can do this…
(In Alabama USA)
Sheriff: I swear it's the same town as last time!
Police Officer: And I swear to God their the same pupils…
(Terry and Kerry enter)
Kerry: Oh Lord, catching that thug was exhausting!
Sheriff: Yeah even though we did not report a crime today, weird how you two lovebirds sneak off and come back all sweaty and clothes ruffled.
Terry: The gunman put up a good fight.
Sheriff: I bet he did.
Kerry: Anyhow what y'all watching nothing on Mortdale I'm betting,because that would just be sad.
Sheriff: Weirdly enough it is.
Kerry: NO! You having us on it can't be in Mortdale…
(They can both see it is)
Terry: A tournament's going on, where there's a possibility you could die. Still what sort of sick town is that?
Kerry: Greg could be in that.
Terry: Rubbish there is no chance…
Suzanne: So here the White View competitors… Imogen Aldington… Asif Sanji, Elliot Jonas, Gordon Harris and Greg Winters!
Kerry: You were saying?
Terry: Can we not go back to Mortdale please? I mean it's not like I don't care for Greg or anything, it's just we can't exactly go into this guns blazing, as this time, it is legal, and we’d probably be arrested.
Kerry: So all we can do is sit and watch and pray.
Terry: I guess so…
(Back in England)
Announcer: WELCOME MORTDALE AND THE WATCHING WORLD TO THE FIRST EVER PENTI- PRESENT TOURNAMENT ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIRST CHALLENGE! (Crowd roar)
Announcer: OKAY THE RULES ARE SIMPLE, A PILOT HERE WILL BE DRIVING THESE PLANES REAL HIGH, THERE ARE FIVE PLANES AND THE COMPETITORS WILL BE STRAPPED TO THE WINGS!
Elliot: WHAT?! Please tell me I didn't just hear that.
Imogen: ...and just when I thought I'd heard of everything...
Snob Girl: How is that, even physically possible?
Emo Girl: Who cares?
Leanne: Sounds fun.
Bastian: I like being with the clouds…
Announcer: OH AND IT GETS BETTER, EACH COMPETITOR WILL BE HANDED AN AK-47, THE OBJECTIVE IS SIMPLE, GUN DOWN THE OTHER PLANE OR COMPETITORS, THE PILOT'S OF EACH PLANE HAVE BEEN PAID A FAIR SHARE TO FLY THESE PLANES… BECAUSE IF YOU SHOOT THEM, THE PLANE GOES DOWN, THE FIRST PLANE TO GO DOWN AND THE SCHOOL COMPETITORS ON IT ARE ELIMINATED AND MOST LIKELY DEAD!
Gordon: I DON'T LIKE HEIGHTS!
Greg: I don't like guns.
Imogen: I don't like this task in general.
Kyle: I don't like waiting.
Announcer: SO THERE IS NO EASY WAY OUT THE ELIMINATED FIVE WILL DIE… UNLESS YOU CAN SURVIVE THE FALL OF COURSE, ALONG WITH THE PILOT!
White View Pilot: You better win you little Shits! Because I have wife and three kids.
Announcer: POINTS WILL BE GIVEN TO THE COMPETITORS WHO FIRE THE MOST, THE PLANES THAT MAKE THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DODGES AND MANOEUVRES, WILL BENEFIT ALL FIVE MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL, BUT IN ALL, WE WILL HAVE A 25 PLACED LEADER-BOARD AT THE END OF THIS EVENT! OKAY SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, ARE WE READY?
Announcer: OKAY COMPETITORS GET STRAPPED ONTO THE PLANE! AND WE ARE READY FOR TAKE-OFF!
Greg: So guys were in a team, for now, anyone good with a gun?
Elliot: I'll try.
Greg: Great. what about you Gordon?
Gordon: Yeah… err… whatever… err I HATE GUNS!
Asif: Oh get over yourself, just aim for the pilot dodge bullets, how hard can it be?
Imogen: At 20,000 something thousand feet, being shot out and having the full force of the wind on your face it should be pretty hard. Mum never trained me for something like this.
Mrs Conrad: You have Greg you'll be fine!
Greg: Why is all the pressure heaped on my backside?
(They are strapped onto the plane wing)
Elliot: Mine feels tight, hang on...
(Back in stands)
Jack: Florence it's about to begin. (No reply) Hey, Little Princess aren't you excited!
(He taps Florence on the back, she then breaks into several pieces)
Rhys: Shit what happened.
Jack: She… she… (he sunndley realises and picks up a piece of her arm which is plastic)
Jack: It was a dummy of Florence!
Sarah: A dummy? You for real?
Jack: It's a dummy! Wait if this is a dummy, where is the real Florence…
Jaya: DA FUCK FLORENCE IS ON THE PLANE!
(Everyone in the stands turns)
Suzanne: THERE IS AN INTRUDER ON THE PLANE!
Elliot: DA FUCK FLORENCE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
(Florence is in the same strap as Elliot)
Florence: Oh hi guys what's up?
Greg: FLORENCE WHY ARE YOU ON THE PLANE!?
Florence: Oh Greg you know me, publicity stunts are unavoidable.
Asif: But you could die Florence!
Florence: Fame is to die for.
Greg: I KNEW IT! I knew you were acting to quiet lately to be normal!
Florence: Well you don't say Duh brain.
Timmy: CHEATERS! THEY HAVE SIX!
Leanne: But only five guns.
Kyle: More victims, brilliant.
(Planes begin to take off)
Jack: SOMEONE GET MY GIRLFRIEND OFF!
(Too late the planes take off everyone looks petrified expect for Florence who is waving to the crowds)
Chelsea: WOO! GO FLORENCE I'M TEAM FUCKING FLORENCE, THANKS HELPLESS TA I KNOW SHE'S GONNA WIN!
(The planes soar upwards a nearby plane recording the events gets all the action so it can be watched from below on giant TV Screens)
Leanne: FIRE! (They fire at the White View plane)
Asif: WHY ARE THEY AIMING AT US!
Greg: DON'T NAG! JUST FIRE BACK!
(They do this, meanwhile Florence is complaining about her hair)
Florence (to Imogen whose busy firing): I mean all this wind is so loud I can barely hear myself think and it's messing with my hair too, so it looks all windswept…
Pilot: WERE GOING ROUND!
(The plane goes into a somersault and then a dive, in the action and bullet's firing everywhere all the 6 on the plane can do is hold on for dear life and fire back).
Kyle: Aiming for the head, aiming for the head…
(Without warning, a bullet knocks the gun out of his hand, enraged he looks upwards to see Bastian on his plane smiling at him)
Kyle: AIM FOR THAT BASTARD!
(The black Crest's do the Greenwood gang sustain heavy fire before White View plane shoots on them, which distracts the Black Crestors)
Timmy: Shit were being ganged up on!
Kyle: Fuck this!
(He steals Natasha's gun as the plane goes into a nosedive, as the pilot aims straight for the scared St. John's they try to fire… but then)
Kyle: DIE! (He sprays all five of the competitors down, he then shoots the pilot and the plane falls down smoking before exploding in mid-air, the following explosion creates a lot of action, but also ends the first challenge the pilots are ordered to fly back down to the school, this they do, the competitors are ordered to stop firing which they do, or else they'll be eliminated. When they reach the floor the competitor's guns are taken away from them and the crowds roar)
Announcer: WHAT A TREAT! DID YOU SEE THAT! DID YOU SEE THAT! ST. JOHN'S ELIMINATED! FOUR SCHOOLS LEFT FOR FOUR MORE CHALLENGES!
Chelsea: Why isn't Florence on the leader board?
Sarah: Chelsea, she wasn't really a competitor but a stowaway, she does not count.
Chelsea: What the hell! I thought Florence would win.
Ryan: No way man, that was like epic, innit!
Lucy (tears of joy): Oh thank God Elliot and Imogen are okay!
Dean: Yes go Imogen and err… Greg!
Lucy: Dean, stop being so hateful towards Elliot.
Greg (to Imogen): WE DID IT! WE DID IT!
Imogen: YES, YES WE ARE IN THIS! Although some poor St. John's have just died yet no one cares.
Asif: Let's see the leader board?
Out of 50
1st Kyle- 48
2nd Leanne- 46
3rd Greg- 44
4th Elliot- 40
5th Bastian- 37
6th Imogen- 34
7th Timmy- (Black Crestor Boy) 30
8th David (Mortdale Secondary Schooler) - 29
9th Dave (Mortdale Secondary Schooler) - 28
10th Claire (Emo- Greenwich Girl) - 27
11th Ned (Greenwich snob boy) – 25
12th Gordon- 23
13th Asif- 22
14th Harold (Black Crest boy) - 20
15th Wilhelmina (Snobby Greenwich girl) - 15
16th Sam (Mortdale Secondary Schooler) - 11
17th- Danny (Mortdale Secondary Schooler) - 9
18th- Natasha (Black Crestor girl) - 7
19th Boston (Mortdale Secondary Schooler) - 3
20th Mary (Snobby Greenwich girl) - 2
21st to 25th St. John's bunch all 5 dead and eliminated, overall score was 0.
Kyle: I may not have killed the View Crew, but I am still in first.
Leanne: and I'm right behind ya!
Timmy: Da fuck Natasha you're near the fucking bottom!
Natasha: Maybe I wouldn't be if somebody hadn't stolen my gun. (glares at Kyle)
Kyle: It was necessary for the bullets to pierce the skin and organic tissues,which would lead to internal bleeding and…
Natasha: Yeah okay, whatever save it for the second challenge, psycho.
Greg: THIRD? HOW IN 12 APOSTLES AM I THIRD?
Elliot: NEVER MIND THAT I'M 4TH EVERYONE!
Lucy: WOOO TEAM ELLIOT!
(No one else cheers)
Mrs Conrad: Worthless offspring, 6th place is no good!
Imogen: I'm just glad I'm alive.
Asif: Asif I managed 13th an unlucky number and the lowest of all the White View's.
Gordon: Oh my God, I'm in 12th and I'm alive, I could do this! I CAN WIN!
Greg: Hey Bastian, you helped us!
Bastian: I feel you needed to be helped, as I did not want to see the Black Crestor's win.
Greg: You know you're a bit weird, but I like you, in a friendly way.
Aaron: Oh thank God he said friendly way, I thought things were gonna get gay there.
Thomas: Did anyone ever tell you, that you have the filthiest mind known to man and what have you got against gays?
Aaron: Thanks for the compliment, and you're only saying that cause your gay.
Thomas: I'm not, I'm just saying...
John: That's fake and Gay.
Announcer: COME TO ST.JOHN'S ON FRIDAY FOR THE SECOND CHALLENGE UNTIL THEN… PEACE I'M OUT!
Jack: Florence how could you? Do you know how scared I was for your life?
Florence: Jack… my fame… it's my life…
Jack: I don't care how dare you!
Chelsea: Yeah how dare you, thought you was gonna win!
Florence: Jack but we both love the fame, right?
Jack: Sometimes there are more important things than fame.
(Florence and a passing Andrew gasp)
Florence: Thou art condemned with sin!
Jack: Florence stop being so fucking daft, in fact you know what? I don't care, go out there and die for all I care, you clearly don't care about me at all if you'd rate your love below your fame.
Florence: Well obviously my “Career” is everything.
Jack: What “Career” you're a fame whore! I thought I was bad but jeez this is just off the scale.
Florence: Says you with your bland personality and your addiction to reality TV always watching the somebody's, yet you'll never be someone…
Jack: FINE! IF THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!
Andrew: Whoa Drama.
Richard: OM-ME-D-D’S HARK AT THE DRAMAS!
Florence: Fine I don't need you.
Andrew: Good on you, what's your name?
Andrew: I'm Andrew and I consider myself above you.
Florence: Me too.
Andrew: No way, we have so much in common.
Florence: I know right.
Andrew: If it was between me and you I'd let you die painfully.
Florence: Me too! oh this is wonderful!
Jack: Yeah you two go to Paris, with Paris Fucking Hilton and the Kardashians and talk about how you’re better than everyone else!
Florence: Brilliant idea Ex-Boyfriend.
Andrew: Let's go talk…
Greg: Well I was right, he and Florence would get on, come on Bastian lets go. I'll introduce you to George.
Bastian: Jolly good.
Mary: I cannot believe I am 20th.
Wilhelmina: I am low down too!
Elliot: Bet you want a bit of Elliot now don't ya ladies! I'm higher than you are!
Wilhelmina: How is that physically possible?
Mary: I don’t know come on Wilhelmina let's go
Wilhelmina: Yeah back to our posh lords and masters.
Mary: I beg your pardon.
Wilhelmina: (returning to her posh tone): Nothing to worry Mary dear… c'mon let us leave this dump (they toss bitchy looks over their shoulder at Elliot and walk off)
Elliot: Oh come on.
Claire: LOL, still failing at flirting, I see.
Elliot: Are you here to…
Claire: But I like failed flirting… it depresses me.
Imogen: Okay, just happens like that, huh?
Lucy: DA FUCK!
Elliot: Ah Lucy you jealous now?
Lucy: WHAT! ARE YOU MAD! THAT DEVELOPED TO FAST TO BE NATURAL!
Lucy: Well yeah Elliot was going out with me first and if you hadn't gotten in the way. I could have felt loved… but instead I'm stuck with this baboon Dean who I'm planning to dump once Elliot…
(The moment where you realise you said something you shouldn't have ensures)
Elliot: Well Dean looks like she's using you…
Lucy: Wait, no…that did, not come out right…
Dean: Lucy, I loved you, how could you…
Lucy: Dean no… I need… to…be…loved, so many people are dying… I needed someone…
Imogen: Oh so my best friend is really a whore, is that it?
Lucy: IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!
Dean: You know what Elliot, I think I know why we have been apart, because Lucy has been leading us on.
Lucy: NO WAY I… I… I just want someone to stick around for once!
Elliot: Come on mate, let's make up man.
Aaron: Thought he said Make out then I was gonna say.
John: That's a fake and Gay concept.
Thomas: Again you with you dirty mind.
Lucy: Dean, I… I like you really… but…
Elliot: Dump the bitch and let's chase some real birds.
Dean: Alrite, Lucy it’s over.
Lucy: (Bella Swan moment) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT A BOYFRIEND!
Gordon: I thought my honest outbursts were bad.
Mrs Conrad: Oh this is funny, I pity the child.
Lucy: Imogen…. Don't turn on me.
Imogen: Why shouldn't I? And you're the one who helped me take down Mary-Sue, when you are a MARY SUE YOURSELF! Forget about hanging around me anymore.
Dean: Well Elliot buddy, plenty of fish left in the sea like Wilhelmina.
Chantelle: How is she is still alive with a name like that?
Chaniqua: Doe look at me Bab.
Charmaine: Who the fuck you on about?
(They all leave St. Amanda’s)