The Misadventures of a Telepathic Carpet Salesman

Harold Cothanger was a carpet salesman and telepathic. He could read the minds of any living thing that looked into his eyes. His life was full of the thoughts of other people, he could interpret the actions of others and understand their motives completely. He knew exactly why they bought carpets. He knew the people who liked his affable balding head and the people who found him repulsive and sweaty. The latter group of people consisted mainly of the female of the species. Harold was single. Harold had once met the Prime Minister of Great Britain, but he was still single. He had looked deep into the eyes of the ruler of the country at a grand ball in honour of all the wealthy business men of Britain. Harold was representing the Raymond Kraymon Carpet Co., owned by the extraordinarily wealthy Kraymon family. They were American. They were counted as British because they had invested so much wealth into the country. The Kraymon family were mostly gangsters who had diamonds in their teeth and who spent most of their time abroad. Or so I've heard. Harold had gazed into the mind of the PM on behalf of the Kraymon family and had read his deepest, most personal thoughts. The P.M had been thinking of lunch and bonking his wife. This is what most middle aged men think about. I should know, I'm a middle aged man and a psychic. Harold thought of lunch and bonking other people's wives, because he didn't have one. The problem was that he sweated too much due to over active glands in his body which made him extremely susceptible to heat. This was one of his many super powers.

The End

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