June 10, 2018
Today is the day it all happened. Five years ago today, when all my suffering here in this dungeon began. I am amazed I remember the day, considering how badly my mind was torn. Yesterday they conducted another session Journal. Though strangely, the Hooded Man was not there. Nobody could find the demon today. So instead of asking their questions they went ahead and skipped to "the good part." They beat me blue, George and Dedrick. They beat me once again without mercy. But that beating was different to me. Not because of the Hooded Mans' absence, but because of something else. In that beating, I felt not just pain and hate, I felt thirsty. Thirsty for those men to have their blood spill out onto the floor and end their corrupt lives forever by my hands. It was not part of me. I have never wanted to or have the thought even cross my mind to kill another human being. But were these still humans to beat on a man so relentlessly and frequently? After their "fun" they retreated to their hallway outside my cell and walked away laughing about how their knuckles hurt from hitting the bones in my body that almost plainly jut out of my skin. When dinner was brought, Simon came to be my nighttime guard. I did something I never imagined myself doing. I spoke to the man. I asked of him what was to happen to me in this hole of the Earth. And he in return responded, "You are to live out the rest of your life here in torture and pain to make amends for the crimes done against this faction." I was shocked beyond belief. Not because of his answer but because he answered. In all his time being my guard he only ever told me the time and when dinner was coming. I asked him, " What do you all have in store for me tomorrow?" He answered to quietly for me to hear him entirely. But the bits I caught gave me immense joy. I caught the name Cara slip from his lips. Cara! The only woman I ever saw here. She reminded me of Ellen in more than just her gender. But in the way she talked, walked, cared, and looked much alike Ellen. I asked him when I was to see Cara, but he fell silent once again. But now to today Journal. Not a lot is to say about today as of now. It is an ordinary day down here. My guard today though is one I have not seen in about 5 months now, Jordan. With my new courage now I asked him where he had gone. He replied, " I had gone away for a while and why is of no concern to you prisoner. But how much worse you look now after all this time. When was it you last saw Cara?" Her name again? I must be going to see her soon. I replied to him," About the last time you were my guard, Jordan. Are you to guard me all day?" He replied, "That is unfortunate for you. And to answer your question, yes." The discussion ended as soon as it began. I dare not become friendly, but he does seem to care. I will see about all that has happened recently. I do hope I go to see Cara Journal. She is the only other that can help me in this time and place. Until I find time once again Journal.