June 9, 2018
Journal, I cannot sleep a wink. Not because of the insects crawling on and off of my bed, but because my mind is thinking too much. Thinking back to the days before all of this. I feel I should tell just a portion of my life to you because we will be together for a long time Journal. I was born on September 15, 1988. I met Ellen about seven years ago. She had a job as a waitress at a cafe I went to while I was going to and from work at the bookstore down the road. She would occasionally enter the store and pick out a book to read. So I struck up a conversation with her one day while she was buying IT to take home to read. She was fascinating Journal. Not only a beautiful woman but an intelligent one as well. She read everything she got her hands on. I instantly fell in love Journal. We would talk every day after that meeting about whatever our hearts desired. We would talk of books, coffee, rocks, gems, politics, arts, and love. Any and almost every topic you may think of was probably talked about and discussed by us Journal. And sooner or later our friendship blossomed into a relationship of our own. She moved in with me a year after we met and there she took care of me. Times with money were slightly easy but making ends meet was still kind of hard. But we stayed on the path and made it through. Until that day... the day that changed everything. Her father died on June 10, 2012. With him went all of the money that she was being supplied with outside her own and all of her money went to his funeral. I tried to help to keep everything together, but i could not work hard enough and we lost it all. But that was not the worst part Journal. Her father was a rich man. But only because he took out money he did not have out of loan sharks. Though a smart man, he never repaid the interest that rose steeply each year on all of his loans. They wanted their money after his death. But because Ellen's' mother was already deceased, they came after her. They wanted either their money or for her to pay the consequences for her father's actions. They wanted her life. I could not let my 28 year old love of my life die for something she had no idea about and no power over. So I sacrificed myself to them in exchange that they spare her and keep me alive. They did so with pleasure I never thought existed. They brutalized my body and stripped me of my mind for a very long time Journal. That is how I got here my friend. That is how I am speaking to you now and why I must get out to see her again. She must remember me and the sacrifice I made for her to live normally Journal. She must remember me Journal. I feel at ease now that I have told you a little about myself. I feel more connected to these pieces of paper now that you know me and my suffering. Journal, I cannot recall when I remembered how to write. But I must have remembered with a purpose if I did. Perhaps this was my purpose. To write to you and tell you all about myself and misfortune. Perhaps this is my testimony to God. I must sleep now Journal. My guard for the night, Simon, is stirring. He would beat me for not sleeping at this hour if I was caught. I must now say farewell again friend.