I turned to Camilla. “You love me?”
She looked at me. “No. I love you as my best friend. Nothing more. I got angry so I lied to her”.
“Why would you do that? She’s never going to forgive us”.
“You should go after her. You can calm her down. She’ll forgive you”.
“What about you?”
“She’s going to hate me. She will never forgive me”.
I stared at her for a moment longer and then stood. “I’m going to go and find her”. Turning my gaze away, I quickly exited the room; not even glancing toward Kate. I knew she would be smiling with delight.
The corridors of the institution were largely empty. I passed one orderly on the way to Alyssa’s room. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again. “Alyssa… It’s Logan. Can I please come in?” Again, I got no answer. I tested the handle and the door opened. Alyssa wasn’t there. I checked her bathroom; but it was empty. I scratched my head and left her room, and then explored the rest of the building. There was no sign of her; not in the canteen, not in my room, not on the roof.
I was starting to get worried. My legs carried me out to the garden. The maze loomed in front of me and I made my way through in a few minutes. Alyssa was sitting on a bench in the centre; her head in her hands. As I got closer, I could hear her sobs. My foot crunched on a pebble and she looked up.
“Fuck off Logan. I hate you. I don’t want to see you”.
“Please can we talk Alyssa?” I asked, stopping where I was. She glared at me through tear soaked eyes for a minute. I sighed and turned to leave; but she jumped up off the seat and ran over to me. Her palm collided with my cheek twice, and then she wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my chest.
“Why? Why did you have to fuck Camilla Logan?”
“I… She’s my best friend Alyssa. I told her about how I’d always wished my first time would be with someone I cared about… so she offered to be my first… just as friends”.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get another chance… and I didn’t want to die a virgin”.
“But what about me?”
“I thought I had lost you forever… I never expected to see you again Alyssa. I don’t expect you to forgive me… I know she’s your best friend”.
“Not anymore. That bitch knew I had feelings for you… but she still couldn’t resist fucking you… and now she’s fucking in love with you”.
“She’s not. She just said that because you made her angry”.
“Well that just makes this all worse! It’s even more of a betrayal! She did just want her bit!”
“She was doing me a favour”.
“Oh well that just makes everything okay then does it?”
“It’s all in the past Alyssa! It means nothing anymore! I love you… I only want to be with you… I’ll do anything to make that happen”.
“Will you stop being friends with Camilla?”
“I can’t be friends with her anymore after this”.
“But… she’s your best friend… she’s my best friend”.
“I can’t forgive her for this”.
“I understand how you feel Alyssa”.
“NO YOU FUCKING DON’T!”
“Yes. I do. My best friend slept with my girlfriend… while I was with her. I know how the betrayal feels”.
“And did you forgive him? Did you?”
“So why should I forgive Camilla?”
“Because you and I weren’t together when she and I happened. It meant nothing. And it only happened once”. She slapped me again. “Can you forgive me Alyssa? Will you let me be your boyfriend? I love you”.
She stared into my eyes for a full minute, and then softened. “Of course I forgive you Logan”. She kissed me on the lips. “I love you too”. We lay down on the ground; looking up at the stars in the night sky. Alyssa’s head rested on my chest, and I had my arm tightly wrapped around her. She traced a circle on my shirt with her index finger and then propped herself up. “Logan?” she said.
“Yeah babe what is it?” I asked.
“I think I’m ready”.
“Ready for what?”
“I want to have sex”.
“Really?” I asked, propping myself up too.
She nodded. “I was thinking about what you said; about maybe not getting another chance. And I love you Logan, and you love me. I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life”.