The garden at the back of the institute was surrounded by large walls to prevent us from running away, but it was still a beautiful place. Oak trees lined the walls with rose bushes between them. A large fountain was situated at the centre of the garden, with spouts of water coming from the tip of the stone dragon’s tail, and from the horn on top of its head. There was a hedge maze at the end of the garden, and I found myself seated on a bench in the centre of it.
I was staring into a small fountain there, looking at my reflection. The youth smiled back at me.
“They always leave you. She toyed with you, and now she’s gone. I’m the only one who will always be here for you”.
“You’ve always been here for me”.
“Exactly. These new ‘friends’ are not real friends, they are going to abandon you and hurt you too”.
“I don’t think they will”.
“THEY WILL!” He smiled at me. “I’m the only one you can trust. They will abandon you. They will hurt you. You have to leave them”.
“But I don’t want to!”
I looked away from the youth and saw Jonah and Camilla enter the centre of the maze.
“There you are!” Camilla said, “We’ve been looking all over for you”. She ran over and sat down on my lap. “How are you today?”
“I’m good” I said.
“Fancy going for a throw?” Jonah asked, holding up the Frisbee in his hands.
“Sure”, I said.
“Let’s go” Camilla said, jumping up and grabbing my hand to pull me up. “Now how the hell do you get out of this maze?”
“Follow me” Jonah said. He led the way out and soon enough we were out in the garden. We spread out a bit and threw the Frisbee to one another.
“So what kind of music are you into Logan?” Camilla asked.
“Anything really. Mostly rock and acoustic stuff. What about you guys?”
“I like the same kind, so does Alyssa” Camilla said.
“I’m into dance and pop music” Jonah said. “Where is Alyssa this time?”
“She’s gone home” Camilla said, “They released her”.
“Oh really?” Jonah asked, “How are you doing? I know she was your best friend in here”.
“I’ll be okay”.
Jonah glanced at his watch after he threw the Frisbee to me. “Oh shit I have to go, my mom’s coming to visit me in twenty minutes. I’ll see you guys later”. He turned and jogged off toward the main building.
“See you Jonah” Camilla called after him.
“See you” I said. Camilla caught the Frisbee and then held onto it.
“Come over here for a minute” she said, going to sit on one of the benches. I walked over and sat next to her. “Alyssa came down from the roof last night and told me all about what happened”.
“Yeah she did. She thinks you’re amazing. I have to say, I think you two would have been really good together”.
“That’s not going to happen now though”.
“I know. I’m sorry”. She hugged me. “She told me about why you’re in here too”.
“Yeah. She told me about your ex… and your best friend”.
“And what do you think?”
“I think she was a bitch. I’m really sorry”.
“You know, the fact that she fucked him isn’t even the worst part… I mean I know it’s horrible… and I hate her because of it… but the worst part is that we hadn’t even slept together… and she fucked him… had been fucking him for a long time apparently”.
Camilla looked shocked. “That is awful” she said, hugging me again.
“I just snapped. I was doing well. But this brought everything up again”.
“Oh Logan”, she kept her arms around me. “Why did you share that with me and not her?”
“I don’t know” I said, truthfully.
“I’m glad you did. I want to be your friend Logan. I’m glad you told me”. She looked at me for a moment. “In fact… I’m going to tell you something… Something no one else in here knows… not even the doctors”.
“You don’t have to” I said.
“No. I want to. I- My depression and HPD come from something other than just simple depression… A year and a half ago… I was told I can never have kids. There is something wrong with me, and I’ll never be able to conceive a child. That caused my depression… and then the HPD”.
“Wow”. I was stunned. “I am truly, truly sorry”. It was my turn to hug her. I pulled her in close and she buried her head in my chest. I felt her sob.
“I’ve come to terms with it… but it still upsets me”.
“I can’t even imagine how bad it must be”.
“It feels good to be able to tell someone… and have someone to talk to”.
“I’m glad you can talk to me”.
“Me too”. She leaned back and smiled. “Hang on. If you and her hadn’t slept together… then how long has it been since you last?”
“That’s another thing. I’ve never…”
“Yeah”, I could feel myself going red. “I always wanted the first time to be with someone I really cared about”.
“And you thought she was going to be the one?”
“Logan I’m sorry”.
“It’s okay. Nineteen and a virgin, you must think that’s pretty sad huh?”
“Not at all! I think it’s cute, you’re waiting for the right girl. It’s a shame Alyssa and yourself couldn’t spend more time together. Maybe it would have been her”. She stepped back and threw the Frisbee to me. “Nineteen and a virgin. You know that’s actually kind of sexy” she winked.