After everybody had slowly broken away from the hug, it was really warm in Scarlett's house.
"Hey, is it just me or is it really warm in here?" I blurted out, barely realising that I was speaking.
"Erm.. No. It's actually a bit chilly."
"Agreeing with Scar on that one," Roxy said, rubbing her arms viciously, hoping that somehow her small hands could warm her entire body. I smiled at her.
"Hm. Must be me then," I mumbled, sitting down next to Roxy. I placed my hands on her shoulders, and leant in to kiss her on the cheek before she quickly jumped up and glared at me with wide eyes.
"Jake?! What the hell is wrong with you? You just nearly fricking BURNT me!" I felt my eyebrows knitting together in utter confusion.
"Burnt you? Well sorry, but I didn't do it purposely, now did I? How the heck could I burn you?" I realised I'd said this with much more sharpness than I wanted.
"Ouch! You're boiling! God! I'll have you know that effing hurt!" She said, pulling the skin on the top of one of her shoulders back, closely examining it. "Crap, Jake." She winced. I suddenly realised what she was talking about. I did feel quite warm, actually. I frowned, weighing everything in my head. I stared around me as a confused expression was painted on everybodies pale, delicate faces. Selena jumped up gracefully and walked at a fairly normal pace towards Roxy, and rested her cold hand on her shoulder. Her eyes squinted in the twilight, then she quickly sucked in a sharp breath between her brilliant, white teeth.
"Theres a red mark." She announced, as if the whole world was on the edge of their seats, waiting for this small news, and she had just broke it.
"I-I'm" I searched for appropriate words. "Roxy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"Save it. We're over." She huffed, and stormed out the front door, making sure we all heard a loud 'bang' as she dissapeared onto the dark streets.
"What did I do? It's not my f-"
"We know it's not, Jake. We just gotta find out what's up with you." Taylor sighed calmly. A smitten look was then on Scarlett's face as she smiled up at him. Suddenly, I felt like I wanted to throw something. I tried to restrain myself from doing something stupid, but I was too strong.
"QUIT cutting me off!" I shouted. Anger pulsed through my hot veins. "I don't get you lot! Why are you so.. so.." I nearly punched myself for not finding a word. "URGH." I grunted, and tugged on my short, black hair. My head swam, and dizziness took over my mind. I felt tired, like I had somehow worn myself out from shouting. I began to make my way across the living room, until the floor started swirving towards my face.
Well, thats odd. I thought to myself, wondering why the carpet was hurtling at me.
Oh, I suddenly realised. I didn't catch myself, I had run out of strength and time. My face hit the floor, but I couldn't feel anything. Just numbness, covering it all up. But, now, instead of the shimmering white carpet (which I'm sure had red gradually leaking into it) swirling into my face, it was blackness. Total darkness. I felt like I was in a dream, now. I had to get away from the silence. The nothingness. The eerie sound of nothing at all pierced my ears. The blackness hurt my eyes. I tried running. I ran for what felt like eternity. My legs ached, so did my burning lungs, but I had to go on. I nearly stopped, stopped to just leave it and let the darkness get the best of me. But I saw a light. A bright light. I sprinted towards it, not letting my legs give up. I panted for breath. The light sparkled, it shone. But, I soon realised that the light was, in fact, no longer there. It never had been. I fell to my knees in defeat. The light was all a mirage. Like a rainbow. No matter how beautiful it really was, no matter how far you ran, you would never get any closer. I sobbed, and I sobbed, but I never cried. I tried crying, but no tears at all would even touch my eyes. I screamed. No sound came out.
Suddenly, burning caught in my heart as if somebody had physically put an alight match inside it. The fire spread. The pain wasn't too bad at first. But it started to get worse. It stretched all through my heart. Then it reached out to grab the rest of my body into it's unbearable torture. I felt the burning replacing the numbness. It painted through me. The bristles of this brush were harsh, and sharp. The scraping powered through my body, leaving burning behind in it's frightening position. I was soon on the floor, face down, the fire running all down my body now, something sticky was stuck to my face. I tried to brush the stickiness off, but my arm, my finger, nothing would work apart from the forced effort of my husky breathing, I had to sacrifice deep pain in my lungs in order to keep them going.My eyelids felt perminantly stuck together, forbidden to be opened again. I searched for my heart everywhere, but I could not find it. No evidence of it beating was even there, but I knew it had to be, and I knew it was there somewhere, because for some reason I was still alive. I had a strange feeling that my soul - and other peoples souls - wanted me to stay within my body, not to just float away. Through all this writhing agony, my body and mind agreed it to be dismissed, so I could lay there, limp and lifeless, with no pain to suffer. What was there to live for, anyway? Roxy had left me, and she was my life alone. I remember hearing the saying somewhere:
Don’t make someone your everything because when they’re gone, you’ll have nothing.
This word repeated over in my head. I never listened to that quote, it was so stupid then. And so was I. I love Roxy.. And she was my everything. I was sidetracked in these thoughts, so distracted from trying to wake myself up, hoping I would be in a cloud somewhere in heaven, that it startled me slightly when my eyelids flickered open.
The world was a daze for what seemed like forever, but in reality, it was probably only a few, short seconds. 'The world.' Dammit, I was still alive. I was correct, there was red stickiness seeping through the white carpet. Oh, crap. I'm gonna have to pay for that. I groaned. I was suddenly happy again - well, not happy - as relief flooded through me. I could make sound.
My name was being cried, shouted, sobbed, muttered, screamed.
"Shut up." I rasped, but it was not loud enough. That hurt my throat lots already, but I was willing to do what it took to stop them screaming my name as it had lost its meaning and was now just a series of sounds.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I shouted. My throat felt like it was bleeding. Dry blood, though. I was so dehydrated. My name which was being passed around my ears had been muted, the dreading silence returned. I needed to make it go away.
"Guys. I'm sorry. What happened?" I managed to choke out. I knew what happened really, I just needed a topic of conversation.
"Oh no! You haven't lost your memory, have you?" Selena gasped.
I shook my head.
"No. Just don't let the silence come back! Please. Just." I mumbled, shaking my head some more. At least I was moving a bit. I decided to stop shaking my head, it was rubbing more blood into the carpet, and rubbing my head into it, which didn't feel nice. "Please. Just, say something. But not my name." It was a moment before I realised I sounded absolutely crazy. Bonkers. I was ready to leap out of my weak position laying on the floor when I saw Roxy staring at me from outside the window. I blinked; my eyes hurt from being open so long. I regretted doing that as soon as they were open again, because Roxy was gone. She seemed.. Ghostly before. Somehow translucent. Then I noticed.
I was having hallucinations.
I groaned again. No. I simply was crazy.