Smiling Mr. Diloax

"On the road again! I can't wait to get on the road again!"

I let my smile grow wider as I hear the truth from Willie Nelson's lyrics reverberate through the bar. Ahh, I really couldn't wait to hit the road again. What was better than seeing new places, meeting new people, and even tasting new booze! Yes, nothing beat my life. 

Though I hate Zebras. Utterly hate them. 

"Yo, Mark!" I shouted, getting the hefty bartender's attention. Like me, he always seemed to be smiling. The only difference was that his smile was for business, where my smile was simply natural and never-ending. "Can I get another drink?"

"I like you, Jimmy," Mark said while taking my glass and filling it up. I had to drive in the morning, so I was sticking to light beer for now. "You are buying more than my regulars. It makes them feel like they need to out drink you and prove their better. Good for business, my friend!" As Mark walked over to hand me my beer, I realized what he said was true. A lot of men were staring at me while drinking more than they looked able to handle.

I took my beer, drunk about half of it in one gulp, then laughed. "Well, I just like your prices," I told him, "Plus, this is just light beer, so it won't get me drunk." 

The Bartender gave me an odd look. "Usually twenty light beers is still enough to get drunk, Jimmy..."

"Not for me, Mark," I said with a laugh.

It was then that two large men with multiple tattoos came over and stood directly over me. I noticed three things in the few seconds before they spoke: One, the people in the bar avoided looking my direction, two, the bartender stopped smiling and focused on his dishes, and three, the large men had guns that they didn't bother to hide. So, basically I was in a mighty fine predicament.

"How can I help you gentlemen?" I said with a smile.

They ignored me, of course, and looked at a paper one of them was carrying. I didn't really know them apart, so there was no way to distinguish who.... Wait. Matching tattoos, matching looks, matching clothing, and even matching bald heads!? Yup, I knew em alright. And that meant.

"He has long brown hair and smiles all the time," one of the two Harold brothers said. The other one nodded. I had to wonder which was Cory Harold and which was Doug Harold. Either way they were dangerous, but I didn't like hurting Cory's.

"Guys, you want a drink?" I asked, "It's on me."

Both of the twins looked to each other then shook their head. Polite, yet rude. That was how they were described. In the underworld, they were both feared and loved. Mainly because they had both brains and brawn. Not to mention the willpower to carry out any deed, whether it was villain or vigilante work.

"Please come with us outside, Smiling Jimmy Diloax."

I laughed. "Alright alright, let me just get the bill for my drinks." I placed the bills I owed and grabbed my brown trench coat. It's weight felt good on my shoulders after the last few hours of sitting. Oh, and stretching was amazing as well. I flexed my arms as we walked to the exit of the bar. Sweet lord, that was a good feeling.

Once outside, the two men walked away from me and calmly pulled their guns. Ah, no playing around, then?

"Fellas, what will it take for me to get away from this alive." A lot of his enemies just wanted cash more than revenge and I had plenty of that. After all, I was a bounty hunter and a mob-buster. That raked in a lot of cash if you knew who to let hire you. 

"We were told that the only way you lived is if we took back both your arms," on of the brothers said. I still had no way to tell em apart. "Otherwise, we will need your head."

I smiled widely, noting the position of the guns. "Wow, that's old-fashioned. I take it the Marnatti Family hired you, then?" If it WAS them, then that would explain a lot. They had ran a drug market in the southern states for longer than most people could imagine. Their family 'business' started back in the times of Manifest Destiny, if the reports were accurate. 

"We are not at liberty to say," the other one said, "Now choose. Arms or head."

Choose, huh? I looked at how they had their guns. Hmmm. Not too skilled, but nowhere near being a newbie. This would be a little hard. "How about arms?"

I dashed toward the Harold Brothers as fast as possible, surprising them. Luckily, they started firing right of the bat in rapid succession. Dangerous~! Watching the barrels of their guns, I moved accordingly, letting the bullets move around me. OK, maybe dangerous, but not as hard as I thought.

It took only a few seconds when I got close to pull two of my hidden knives and slice each brother down their forearms. It wasn't really life-threatening, but it made them drop their guns and cover their wounds. Sadly, they also moved away so I couldn't get them with more slices. More skilled than I thought.

"H-how did you do that!?" on of the brothers asked, his face of composure gone. Well, so much for the calm and collected brothers of death that people had raved about. 

I let my smile widen. "Well, if you can keep an eye on the barrel of the gun and fingering, then it's not too difficult to dodge. Wouldn't work with someone far away of at night, of course, but... It's useful."

They seemed to reassessing their data. Well, we couldn't have that. I flung each of my wrist and watched as the brothers fell down with my knives buried in their foreheads. Talk about a killer headache... I laughed at my joke and went to collect my blades. Well, at least these guys were careful not to touche me. It would be hard to explain any evidence that would probably be found on me. 

In the distance their was a flash of light. Now, that wasn't a normal flash. It looked... like something top secret. If it was.... I widened my smile and pulled out my keys in my pocket. Might as well check it out. Plus, my bike needed to be moved before any of the Harolds' allies came and trashed it. They were petty like that, sometimes.

Anyway, off to the odd light. 

The End

16 comments about this story Feed