The week proceded as usual, but instead of working normally like I usually do, I continued staring at my computer screen. My thoughts wandered in all directions, most of them too unappealing to go into deeper thought processing.

When I could grasp myself back into reality, I debated with myself if I should cancel on Maria. Part of me said that I should go. When Maria told me that I needed a night out, she was right. I hadn't been out of the house past ten o'clock in longer than I could remember. I could never trust myself to.  After I divorced my high school sweet heart, Natalie was all I had left in my life. You could only imagine how much my life was affected after Natalie passed away.

But the other half of me persisted that I decline Maria's request. I kept thinking that if something bad happened, for example, everybody got drunk and way to rowdy, they would have to arrest someone. I was like bomb. One accidental touch and I'm gone. History.

To my despair, Friday came too fast.

I got up to my regular routine. Get up out of bed, take a shower, get dressed and get in the car. But after I shut off my alarm clock, I noticed a slight headache and took that as a reason to take the day off. But as I was walking towards my cell phone, I passed Natalie's room. I don't know why, but so much shame came into my heart that I nearly lost my balance. A image of Natalie when she was a baby entered my mind. Before I knew it, my eyes got watery and I was walking back towards my bedroom.

But it wasn't just the morning that was horrid. Throughout the whole day, my thoughts were stolen and replaced with Natalie. But it wasn't just innocent thoughts that lasted an hour and then disappeared. No, these were painful. My chest was sore from rubbing. Every time I saw Natalie in my mind, I could sware that I would have a mini-heart attack.

When five o'clock finally came, I didn't know if it was a blessing or bad karma. As I was checking out, I passed Maria and made the mistake of opening my mouth.

"See you tomorrow night!" she implied, her dazzling white teeth needing me to shade my eyes. I slightly nodded, just enough for her to see before shuffling out of the building as fast as I could manage. I quickly got in my car and turned the key. I didn't think I was prepared for tomorrow.

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*NOTE I'm marking this story mature because when I was origanlly thinking about the basic plot line, I realized I should make it have some mature stuff in it, just cause. So yah, it probably have some sexual stuff, so if you're sensitive, you can probably skip or don't read it at all.

updated Oct 4 '11 by Doodler123