April 16th 1666
Leaving people behind with just the memories of you is hard. But it’s harder for the people who had to leave. They might get a choice but some don’t. I didn’t. The people don’t just have the memories but have connections to the people they left. They can always find them if they try. Me. I didn’t want to be the person to bring back the plague. I didn’t want to leave my family, but I had to. I didn’t want to come back once I left. It would have been easier to turn my back on it and leave everything I had before.
I no longer visit my family. With only a little more than a month left it would be easier to leave now. But I can’t. I’ve heard that some spirits can never leave the world. So stuck for ever. That would be torture for me.
I left the river feeling upset, angry and lonely. Walking slowly along a back route to a pub. The muddy walk way barely touching my bare feet. The smell hitting me and over powering me. I heard people walking and talking. I could hear rats in the street. Stupid
rats that cannot stop killing people.
I walked right up to the pub, only then to turn round. I thought of home and my family. I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to be happy for them. If I didn’t do it now I never would.
I left the outside of the pub to only end up in another pub. But not any pub. This is the one my family goes to. I know that I would miss them, but I would see them again. It was only a matter of months.
I knew the date but who wants to talk about other people’s death when you can talk about their life. I didn’t want to talk so I just went to look for them.
I scanned the pub but found no trace of them. I looked outside. Nothing. I thought of home. I opened the door. The house was empty. No one. The room was covered with dust. Stuff was thrown all over the floor. Food, clothes, blankets and more. It looked like someone was trying to find something.
A noise from the bedroom made me turn round and look. I picked my way round the stuff carefully. I went into the bedroom. Nothing. This room was not as messy as the other.
Note. A note left on the pillow I used to sleep on. It wasn’t really a pillow but a bit of straw and feathers.
I didn’t want to tell you like this. I saw you. I’ve told you that before. But I had to tell you why our house looks like this. I really wanted to tell you in person. But you ran away before I could tell you. We are leaving. It has nothing to do with your death. It’s Mum. She has gone mad. We are moving to the country. Going to live in the Cotswolds. I know it’s far away but Mum needs to breathe a different type of air. I wanted to stay. To stay for you but I couldn’t live here by myself. I try to think it’s for the best but I can’t say good bye yet. I don’t know if we will come back. I hope that you can forgive us. I try to help Mum but she won’t get better. I think she wants to be the one with the connection to you. Not me. I have to try not to get in her way but I couldn’t help it. I told her that I could see you. It was the final straw with Dad. He left us. We have no idea where he went. So it’s just been me, Mum and Edward. Dad left us with nothing. He trashed the place and stormed out. He said that there were hundreds of women who would want him if they had a chance. It turns out Dad had been doing bad deeds and earned loads of money, but he never spent it on us. He has been horrible. So when he left, Mum packed up our things and we left. I hardly had time to write this. I am so sorry. I really miss you. I want to say that if I had the choice I would have been in your place instead of you. I would be the one gone not you. I miss you loads and I want you to become a famous spirit. I know that you always wanted to be famous.
I reread the note. It can’t be true. They wouldn’t leave home. Dad would never leave us. He said that he would never do that. I can’t believe it. Just when I thought I was going to make it right it all turns out going wrong. Why?
Feeling that I didn’t understand this world, I left with my feelings all over the place.