Ah yes. Hugs. The bane of my life.
And it's not like I dislike them. It's just that they add a new level of awkwardness to my life. Here, let me give you an awkward-hug montage.
Scenario 1: I am sitting in a chair at a restaurant, at the only birthday dinner I've ever been invited to (actually, I think I invited myself by accident. See, I was texting someone to see if they want to hang out, and she replied "hey wanna go to a dinner thing on sat night? txt Emily about it". So I texted Emily, and being the idiot I was, I didn't realized that "sat night" was her birthday, and the "dinner thing" was her birthday dinner. Of course she invited me, but I felt like a tool).
So a friend who I haven't seen all summer holiday came up for the obligatory how-nice-to-see-you-again hug. You know how when you hug, your head and the other person's head generally go opposite directions to rest on each other's shoulders? Well, my head somehow went the same direction as hers, and I ended up burying my face in a mass of her hair.
Scenario 2 Same night. The table being really long, I stand up and go to greet new arrivals down the table, in an effort to be more social (in hindsight, I should've stayed where I was). It's someone I'm not really friends with, more like a sight-friend. I pause at her chair, say hi. Neither of us knew if we should hug or not, and then after an awkward pause, I decide to go for it, and arrgh--it's terrible. At least I put my head the right way this time.
That was a bad night in general, and made me decide to swear off social events for life.
Scenario 3: At a farewell ceremony. I had to leave early, and I tapped my friend (who was sitting a row below me), because she was going back to Mexico and I wanted to say goodbye. She stood up for a hug, and so I did too, and in the process of the hug knocked my elbow against her chin. I muttered hurried apologies and ran away.
Pretty sure that wasn't the only time I've injured someone in hugging them, either. However, hugs are only one facet of my ineptitude in life.