Take the other day, for instance. For some reason, a decent looking guy was eyeing me up in the hall as I was organizing my locker. Yes, eyeing me up. I subtly looked around me for another girl, a sign, even a boy, but I was pretty much alone, and he was definitely looking me up and down and smiling.

I busied myself opening and closing binders for absolutely no reason; anything to keep me from looking over at him. But, wouldn't you know it, he decided to make his way over to me instead. I saw him coming and turned, figuring I should at least get it over with quickly.

"Hey," he said, in that way only guys can say it.

"Hey," I managed to parrot back, quiet as a mouse.

"Aren't you in my law class or something?"

"No..."

"English?"

"No..."

"How about..."

Let's take a break from this enthralling conversation to set some things straight.

First of all, it was pretty obvious that he was just trying to make conversation; after all, I'm socially challenged, not an idiot. I just couldn't help but ignore his attempts in place of making things easy on him. I could easily have said, "Yeah actually, I sit a couple rows behind you!" and had a normal conversation, but the guy was good-looking enough; he would survive if he had one awkward conversation to my infinite number of them.

Second of all, it was a miracle I was even managing no's. My face hadn't been that red in a long time. If this didn't end soon, I would make a huge fool out of myself.

"Well I have class to get to," he said, thank God.

"No..." I said, without thinking. Apparently autopilor was still on. "I mean, yeah. Of course," I sputtered, turning deeper shades of red.

"I'll see you around I guess." He raised a fist to about my chest level. "I'm Jake."

I stared at the raised fist, completely unaware of its purpose. "Jake. Nice." I muttered, not moving or saying anything else. Of course, it was only after Jake lowered his hand awkwardly and left that I realized not only had I forgotten to say my own name, but I had also failed to recognize the 'pound the fist' style of handshake.

I nearly stuffed myself into my locker in embarrassment. I could have sworn I heard him laughing at me as he walked away.

But compared to some of the other embarrassing situations I've been in, that was actually a relatively trivial incident.

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Allie is actually by nature a cheerful, humorous person, but her frustration with life makes her determined to look at the glass half-empty. She is very awkward with displaying emotion, for example hugs and saying the "I love/miss you" that others are so comfortable with. She has tremendous insight, and sees the absurdity of human behavior in others.

updated Aug 19 by missaleatoire