There are too many good things to come in the future

Though I have yet to actually find a place to move into, I am staying with my parents even though it is extremely stressful on my part.  I could stay with my grandma though I don't want her to be stressed out just because I'd be there with her.  I am going to West Virginia to Grandfather's for the week of Thanksgiving.  It's going to be a welcome vacation for sure. If only I'd be able to take Midnight without hell being raised and anxiety ensuing.   The very fact that things are  changing is a very scary thing for me.  I am not going to let my fear win the battle of my independence.  Yes, I am terrified of moving out and on my own.  I just don't want to become a recluse and not go out of the house at all.  Those are my fears, severe depression as well as agoraphobia.  I had a friend at one point in my younger years who had those same fears, and she let them win.  I seriously am afraid to be like her because I am trying to recover from my anxieties and depressive feelings.  There are too many positive things to happen that I have yet to experience and enjoy in life.  As my sister and mom keep trying to tell me Life is too short, enjoy it while I can.  I doubted them because I have a hard time living in the moment. I have a tendency of dwelling on things that happened in the past. I find it very, very difficult to let go of some of the things that have happened that were negative.  For example, the major breakdown that I had suffered from earlier this year as well as the cause of the whole thing.  Letting go of things has never been one of my finer qualities. Someday, everything will finally be the way it should be.  I cannot wait for everything to finally fall into place.

The End

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