The door closed behind him, allowing me to shed my tears of pain and confusion. My aunt was alright for weeks, there were no signs of her worsening and yet, here she was - ready to meet her maker.
I quickly wiped away my tears, washed my face and went in to check on the nurse.
She looks up from the phone and shakes her head. "I told the doctor on call about your aunt's condition and he said that he's sending an ambulance to pick her up. She cannot wait until tomorrow morning."
I nod, feeling all warmth that Alex had given me, evaporate.
"You knew that this day would come," she said soothingly.
"But, she didn't show any signs! It's my fault! It's because of my sins that a higher power is taking her away!" I shouted.
She shakes her head. "God is waiting for her. Your aunt, for a year now, can't do anything for herself. You really think she likes that? It's scary for her so she prefers believing her newfound illusions."
"I'm despicable," I said and started to cry again.
My nurse hugs me until the sounds of the ambulance reach our house.
I watch the medics talk to my aunt and explain her the situation.
My aunt nods and says, "I can leave now that my Amy found someone special."
I ride with her in the ambulance and tell her that I love her. She smiles, holds my hand, and passes away, surprising me to the core.
I sit for hours in the waiting room, looking at people taking care of their alive members without really paying attention. I stayed so long because I couldn't bear coming home. My lie had killed my aunt...
After those hours pass, Megan appears before me and takes me home. She makes me tea, makes me shower and stays with me the night.
My nurse left a note on my fridge that she's moving out since her services are no longer needed.
Megan finds Alex's card and puts it in my purse. I ignore her motivation. She tries to talk me about life after death, telling me all the right things, but it's like she's hidden under fog.
I realize that I'm not ready for any of it. For anything that will happen from now on because my aunt is gone and she's not coming back.
After a couple of cups of hot tea, I fall asleep on Megan's lap and don't wake up till 1pm the next day.