The Letters He Wrote, Chapter XII

"Let's think on it for a week, then see where God leads us."

"But I want to go to Hendrick now! God didn't give me these letters without a reason!"

It had taken quite awhile of negotiating, but Alina had finally convinced Rome that they only needed one or two days of praying, at most. What were they praying for? The discernment to know whether or not it was God's will for them to travel to Hendrick.

Alina hadn't told Rome that she hadn't asked God what His will was for quite some time...Surely the traveling preacher wouldn't want to assist an almost-heathen in her search for her lover!

An almost-heathen.

The realization caught Alina off-guard, and she stood completely still for several minutes, her mind whirling with the harsh reality that she had subconsciously termed herself an almost-heathen...

"But it's not entirely my fault, God," Alina muttered. "If You wanted me to have more faith, You'd give it to me...wouldn't You?"

Wouldn't He?

Rome had left several hours ago, leaving Alina alone with her troublesome thoughts. Absently gathering Alexander's letters into a pile, Alina glanced across the room. If she left Summeridge, what sorts of things would she bring with her? Certainly Alexander's letters. And a fair amount of clothes. Food, too.

But of course, Alina was assuming she'd go to Hendrick. What if Rome refused to accompany her? No matter. I'll go, even if nobody accompanies me. I'll go, even if God doesn't want me to!

"I want you to find a husband worthier than I have ever been. I want you to have children and be happy and always trust God. I want you to let go of me."

Conflicted, Alina held the letters to her heart, not bothering to blink back the tears that pooled in her eyes. "How can I trust a God who stole you from me?" Alina whispered. "You were my final hope...I chose to trust you...I chose to love you..."

The tears fell without apology.

The End

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