Alexander's very soul had been written into those pages.
After reading only seven letters, however, Alina's eyes were so full of tears that she could not have read any more words even if she'd wanted to. Oh, the heartwrenching things that had been written! Oh, the heartbreak of it all!
Some of the most soul-grieving words, however, were words Alexander had written over a span of ten months or so, words regarding his daughter. Shaliste.
God Almighty, I cannot ask for Your protection over my daughter, Shaliste; I fear Your reaction.
God, I ask that you watch over my Shaliste, though I fear that the very act of asking You for something will cause my daughter's death.
Shaliste is dead. I ought to have known better than to ask God.
He only hates me.
"God, could You not have spared his daughter?" Alina whispered bitterly. All love for her Maker was replaced with anger, and she crumpled up Alexander's letters without thinking and threw them across the room. "Was it too much of him to ask that You keep his Shaliste alive?"
Only silence returned Alina's question.
"None of it matters now, Alina," Alina told herself. "Alexander is with God now; that's all that matters. He's with his little girl now."
The thought brought a brief moment's smile to Alina's lips. Alexander's struggles, his addictions, his unrests...all had been erased. He was now free.
But why must I remain here? God, why can't You just take me home?
Curling up and burying her face in her arms, Alina moaned, "Can't You just take me home?"