The Journey of Life.Mature

This is about how a teenager copes with her best friend having cancer.

Today was my best friend’s birthday! I was so excited for her, but what I didn’t know was that she was about to die. Levy was diagnosed with cancer nearly 3 months ago, she was told that she was going to die on her birthday or close to it. I was terrified when she told me because I didn’t want to lose my best friend. As I galloped down the stairs trying not to worry about Levy, I could hear my mum screaming at my little sister “KELLY, GET READY FOR SCHOOL!” I ran into the kitchen and smiled gently at my dear mother who just blanked me out. I made my toast then walked off to school, I saw Levy walking round the corner I smiled and screamed ‘Happy Birthday!’ to her as she forced a smile onto her frightened face. I hugged her and told it would be ok, then smiled.

We got to school and everyone looked at Levy and me, I told them not to stare but no-one ever listens to me, I could hear whispers around the different gangs. “Ain’t she menna be dead?” I felt so much sympathy for her. But there was nothing I could do. When we got into our first lesson, Levy burst into tears I felt so hopeless because there was nothing I could do to help her but show her some comfort. Every time I hug her she yells at me “don’t touch me!” I wanted to help her but I couldn’t.

As I walked into my next lesson, I saw Danny; he was the guy I fancied for years! We’re just friends now but I still kind of like him. When I saw him I smiled softly, but him being my best friend and everything he knew something was wrong. He sat me down and as I pulled out the chair I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer

‘I don’t want her to leave me, I love her to bits’ I poured my heart out to him.

‘I know you don’t but to be honest its not your choice, it’s the cancer that’s killing her, you can’t stop it’

‘It’s not fair!’

‘That’s life babe’ He gave me a massive hug, and as we embraced I could smell the warm scent of his delicious smelling aftershave. I wanted to just stay there forever, it was the only place I felt safe, with him.

‘Just go speak to her and tell her that no matter what happens, you love her and always will. Tell her you will never let her go, even when she goes. Just be brave for her sake, until her dying day, then you can scream and cry and do whatever you like. Just don’t show your fear.’ He smiled peacefully and I looked in his eyes and grinned cheekily.

As I walked into my next lesson, I saw Danny; he was the guy I fancied for years! We’re just friends now but I still kind of like him. When I saw him I smiled softly, but him being my best friend and everything he knew something was wrong. He sat me down and as I pulled out the chair I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer

‘I don’t want her to leave me, I love her to bits’ I poured my heart out to him.

‘I know you don’t but to be honest its not your choice, it’s the cancer that’s killing her, you can’t stop it’

‘It’s not fair!’

‘That’s life babe’ He gave me a massive hug, and as we embraced I could smell the warm scent of his delicious smelling aftershave. I wanted to just stay there forever, it was the only place I felt safe, with him.

‘Just go speak to her and tell her that no matter what happens, you love her and always will. Tell her you will never let her go, even when she goes. Just be brave for her sake, until her dying day, then you can scream and cry and do whatever you like. Just don’t show your fear.’ He smiled peacefully and I looked in his eyes and grinned cheekily.

As the day ended myself and Levy were planning a trip to town, I needed some new clothes and I wanted to take her mind off of things. We went to her favourite shop and she found something she liked. ‘Oooooh, shit I’ve got no money!’ she gave me the puppy dog eyes, I always fall for them so I bought her the top. I got home and saw my mum covered in flour looking confused. ‘What happened?!’ I laughed at her clumsiness.

‘Your dad attacked me with the flour. So I hit him with my towel’ She smiled at the thought of her and my dad actually having a good time. I helped her off the floor as she cried with laughter. ‘Mum, are you drunk?! Your breath stinks!’

‘Alexandra-Louise, how dare you accuse your mother of being drunk!?’ She slurred her words so I knew she was drunk. I just laughed it off and took her to bed for a nap.

*Knock knock* I ran from the garden through the living room and answered the door, it was Levy. ‘Hi babe, what’s up?’

She cried. I took her in my arms and held her tight. ‘What’s the matter Levy? Tell me’

She told me that she was terrified, I truly didn’t know what to do. My dad came down and told me to take Levy home. ‘She needs to be with her family right now, not with you. I know you’re her best friend but you need to let her be with her family’ what the hell was wrong with him, she came over here?!

Later on my phone buzzed, I‘d got a text from Levy;

Lexy, I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you over these past few months. But now it’s over. I’ve taken my life and I want you to be proud of me for all my achievements. Don’t come over here and don’t tell my mum, I want her to find out for herself. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Best friends 1993-2O1O<3 xx Love Levy xxx

I was speechless. I screamed with anger and frustration. My best friend had killed herself?! I didn’t know what to do so I shouted my dad. I told him everything and I was so angry and sad at the same time. I was angry because I couldn’t do anything to stop her pain but I was deprived at the fact my best friend had just killed herself. He told me it was ok. I screamed at him ‘It’s not ok, she’s dead, how the hell can it be ok?!’ I was punching the walls I was hitting things I screamed at the top of my lungs. I held my breath until I was blue. My mum came in asking what was wrong, my dad told her everything. She burst into tears. ‘Oh Lexy, love I’m so sorry, oh no. Babe, come here’ She embraced me, I loved my mums hugs, but now was not the time. I wanted to go see her. I ran to her house screaming and crying. I banged on the door and ran upstairs to Levy’s room ‘Sandra, don’t come up! Please’ I walked into her room, she was there. On her bed covered in her own blood, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I threw up. I couldn’t take the pain. I wanted to just pick her up and hug her. ‘Lexy, what’s…… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ Sandra – Levy’s mum – screamed so much, she cried and cried.

A few days later, it was the day of Levy’s funeral. I wore the dress she bought me for my 14th birthday. It was a little black sequin dress, with a flower cut out on the back. I’d written a little speech about mine and Levy’s life together since we were babies. I spoke about 5 words then choked on my tears. I tried so hard not to cry, I think I had run out of tears. I looked into the crowd of people, Levy had so many friends. I saw Sandra cuddling up to my mum, she was wearing a little skirt and Levy’s favourite top and it had a picture of a flower. As my speech ended, everyone was smiling but crying at the same time, I didn’t know what to do next so I grabbed my friendship bracelet off my wrist and placed it onto the coffin gently and kissed it. I looked up in the sky and smiled as I shed my final tear.

‘Well done darling’ My mum was so proud of me, I was proud of myself for getting through all that. I saw Danny; I ran into his arms. He held me so tight.

‘Can I say something please?’ He took this bit of paper out of his jacket pocket.

‘Course you can babe’ I smiled warmly.

‘Charlotte Levy Smith.’ He used her full name..

‘You were a beautiful girl, so intelligent. I loved spending every second with you, when you told me about the cancer. I honestly thought you could beat it! When I saw how dreadfully upset you were I wanted to die with you. You, my friend, were. Are a true hero! Lots of love Daniel’ Oh my gosh, he kissed my friendship bracelet I’d given to Levy.

‘Thank you Daniel’ Sandra shook his hand and wiped away his tears.

2 weeks later…

‘MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!’ My little sister Kelly was a right mouthy brat.

‘MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!’

‘Kelly shut up! Ok?’ I hated her with a passion. I know she’s my sister but to be honest I couldn’t care less.

Today would have been Levy’s 16th birthday. I had bought her a present and I made her a card, it said; ‘I miss you all the time, you never leave my mind. Goodbye Best Friend’ I placed them on her grave and smiled at all the stuff she had received from friends and family.

I got home and went to my room, listening to my music. I loved to listen to music, I wanted to be a professional singer when I was older. I’ve been planning to go on X-Factor for ages! I sang my favourite song, Taylor Swift - White Horse. I love this song.

‘Lexy, have you got my red nail varnish?’

‘Lexy?!’

‘LEXY!’ my mum gave me a tap.

‘Oh sorry mum, what?’ I smiled.

‘Have you got my red nail varnish’ My mum had a right cheeky grin, she didn’t have many teeth so she was kind of scary but I loved it.

I shook my head and smiled. She looked a bit confused. ‘Hmmm…’

My dad came barging in with a look on his face that could terrify a dinosaur.

‘What’s up dad?!’

‘My. Car. Broke. Down.’ He tried not to get angry.

I slowly put my headphones back in and turned away, leaving my mum to deal with an angry truck driver.

‘Now, Derek. Stay calm’

‘Where is it?’

‘Outside Tesco’s. It broke down in the middle of the flipping road!’

‘That’s miles away!’

‘Ok. Ok. Ok. I’ll go get it. Ring RAC, or whatever they’re called’

‘Oooooh. I’m gonna love you-ooh-ooh’ I was quite happy at the minute, I knew that being sad about Levy wouldn’t get me anywhere so I was happy. I never bottled up my emotions. I always spoke about them. I heard a noise out my window. I paused my iPod, I stood up to see Danny sat on my wall smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Running down stairs I grabbed the key for my front door. Opened the door ‘DANNY!’ I ran into him and we fell on the grass, he smiled at me and told me he’d missed me. I gave him a little peck on the cheek and stood up. He held my hand as we walked inside together, I sat down with him on the sofa and we had little catch up.

He told me that he’d been feeling weird which is why he didn’t come see me.

‘I don’t know what it is but every time I think of you, I get this little fluttering sensation in my belly’ he said with a confused look on his face.

‘Oh.. You’ve got butterflies’ I went red.

‘It means you fancy me. Ha’

‘Oh.’ He smiled and then kissed me. Properly. I was so happy that this happened to me finally! We started dating and he told me he loved me for the first time. I replied with ‘I love you too’ and smiled as he leant in to kiss my lips.

In a away im glad Levy died, because if it weren’t for her I would have never got Danny. But everyday I still miss her. I never stop thinking about her. I wonder what life would be like if she was still alive. Charlotte Levy Smith, my best friend since 1993. I will never forget you. Rest In peace my baby girl.

The End

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