Walking down the bright streets of this suburban area you would never guess that someone with such a strong addiction would be residing in such a welcoming estate, but for twenty five year old Zavier this is a harsh reality. Having been addicted to heroin for over seven years, he moved in with his grandparents for support. I walked up to the modern styled rancher and rang the doorbell, after several moments I was greeted by his grandmother and invited inside. I've never seen such a quaint home I was only there about maybe two minutes and already felt at home. I smiled and thanks his grandmother for allowing me into her home and asked her where I could find Zavier, one minute and several small directions to the backyard later I was standing in a fabulous garden, surrounded by roses, orchids, tulips, babies breathe, the amount of flowers in this garden was endless, And there in the center of the garden in a beautiful gazebo was Zavier, strumming his guitar softly, I stood in astonishment... At first glance I would have never guessed that he was addicted to any illegal substance.
I walked up to him slowly taking in his features, his long black hair hung past his shoulders like a curtain of silk, his pale skin was whiter than the paper in my notebook, the contrast between his skin and his dark clothing was incredibly noticable, He looked up at me smiled at me, so of course i smiled back. Upon my arrival at the gazebo, he put down his guitar down and stood up to greet me. I reached out and shook his hand, I introduced myself as did he and pulled me onto the gazebo bench. "Are you ready to start?" I asked him pulling out my notebook and tape recorder.
He nodded a bright smile on his face, that smile struck me as a little strange seeing as I was about to ask him several questions about his Heroin addiction, but I smiled back none the less. "Alright, lets jump in head first then!" I said with a hint of excitement in my voice.
"When did you decide to start doing heroin?" I questioned glancing at my notebook before looking back at him waiting for an answer.
He sat back and looked like he was deep in thought "When I was seventeen, years old I tried heroin for the first time. It was right after a Motely Crue concert in Febuary of '98 a friend of mine gave me a gram of heroin that he had stolen from someone else" I nodded and jotted down a few notes and sentences I would use in my article.
"Was there any specific reason?" I asked, " I was very depressed" he stated, pushing his hair back behind his shoulder and tying it up. I wrote down a few more notes and looked back up at him.
"Would you mind telling me the reason for your depression?" "I'd rather not talk about it" he replied quickly. I nodded in understanding and decided to move on, "So can you tell me about what you did with the heroin after you got it in '98?" he looked down at either the floor or his tattered converse sneakers " I had like a gram of heroin (Which is a lot) so I decided to end everything and I snorted 6 Lines of it and the lines were like cocaine size lines (with Heroin you DO NOT do very big lines if you snort it cause snorting it is very easy to O.D.) So I snorted six big lines on page 666 of the holy bible that I bought to check out how stupid it was years back. and I guess I fell asleep" He shrugged and looked back up at me, "I just felt like there was no point in living anymore" I bit the end of my pen in thought "it must have been rough" I said softly, He nodded in turn "Who saved you?" I asked "my grandmother was suppose to wake me up at 6am for school, but she says that, that morning she had a feeling about something, so she got up and she heard weird noises coming from my room, and when she went in my room, I was somehow almost upside down on the Floor making some sort of "DEATH NOISE " as she calls it and then she called 911. By the time that they got to my house I apparently had been clinicly dead for something like 6 minutes" I closed my eyes and nodded, I couldn`t understand why anyone would want to take their own life, but I decided to keep an open mind and continue with my interview.
"Was that the only suicidal attempt you had?" I questioned "No..." he grinned. Wait grinned?
I shook that off and continued "will you tell me about it?" I slowly asked him as if testing the waters of a foreign land, he nodded setting me at ease "Well I was really drunk and this happend like three or four times but this one time was fuckin' crazy. I was Drinkin at my friends girlfriends house and her dad had lots of Medication and everytime I would drink there I would sneak upstairs and take like 25- 35 random pills but they never killed me just fucked me up sometimes for days at a time!
but this particular time I took 31, 100mg Anti depressant pills, 12, 100mg
Valium pills, and 15, 50mg pills that were some sort of Anti-Psychotic that they use to treat schitzophrenia. well holy fuck man on top of like 18 beers I should have fucking died but somehow (even though I couldn't drive or barely keep my eyes open or walk) I managed to get back to Barnston Island to my buddies farm where I continued to smoke both Crack & I shared a 4 Points of Crystal Meth with my buddy! I DIDN'T FUCKING DIE! I don't even know how I didn't but I fell 15 feet backwards off a Barbed & Razor wired fence, Off the Dyke on Barnston Island and landed backwarks neck first on a tree stump and then proceded to land on the beach just barley in like 3 inches of the Fraser River. I didn't even hurt myself!
but later on I passed out at my buddies place and my mouth started foaming with white shit he told me and It was to late to call the cops cause the ferry was closed (although, if it's an extreme emergency they will call a ferry captain and get police or ambulances there, but it would take quite a while!) but anyways my friend and his brother who just got out of jail in the states that night, they both watched over me and made sure that my heart was going! I had O.D.'d I went to the hospital the next day and they said that I probably damaged my liver ( which sucks cause I damaged my heart when I O.D.'d on Heroin"
I nodded and took down a few more notes, I've had my share of illegal substances but never anything that bad.
"How about you?" "huh?" I looked up at him "how about you? ever try heroin?" I blinked and shook my head, "no, but I have tried marijuana, Exstacy and Acid." Zavier stiffled a laugh and nodded, I almost felt as though he was laughing at me as if my not doing the harder drugs was a bad thing. I shrugged it off and continued to write my notes.
"So what made you want to write an article about heroin addicts anyways?" Zavier enquired
I looked up at him and smiled "woah there, who's interviewing who here?" I giggled slightly squinting my eyes like i normally do when I laugh, he smiled and laughed with me "heheh sorry, I was just curious as to why a beautiful young woman such as yourself would willingly want to interview a low life like me." my smile disappeared "You're not a low life, you shouldn't think about yourself like that, And I wanted to do this because I wanted to have the chance to maybe see through someone else's eyes" I lectured he smirked at me and nodded in agreement.
"I guess you're right" he muttered leaning back on the bench. I smiled at him "of course I'm right, At least now you're clean" I spoke gently.
I finished writing my notes and looked back up at him "do you have the time?" I questioned, "It's 3:30" he replied quickly I nodded and closed my notebook "I have to go, my boyfriend needs to see me about something" I said getting up and walk down the steps of the gazebo. "Oh..you have a boyfriend?" he asked softly looking down at the ground "Yeah, he has something he needs to talk to me about..." I muttered glancing down my bangs covering my face "Are you scared?" he asked stepping closer to me, I nodded in reply "everything will be fine" he reassured me when my phone rang, I squeezed my eyes closed and pulled it out of my pocket.
"Hey Dyne I was just about to leave to come see-".
"Oh...I see..." I closed my eyes so no tears would fall. "No no I get it, I mean I'm not her and there is nothing I could do to make you prefer me over her, so whatever I'm fine with this" I said my voice cracking as I spoke to him. I kept my head down to prevent the tears on my face from being visable.
"It's okay really...bye" I mumbled into the cellphone mouth piece before hanging up. Zavier just stared at me a look of sympathy on his face, he stepped closer to me "Are you okay?" I looked at him tears streaming down my face "No.." I groaned, bursting out into tears placing my face into my hands. Zavier stepped even closer to me, "Don't worry...you will be in time" he whispered as I cried onto his shoulder. I was in such shock, I never would have guessed that Dyne would want to leave me for some girl that I've known for most of my life, he meant so much to me and now he's gone, and where was I? Crying in the arms of an ex-heroin addict. And it was almost the best feeling ever. I must have cried on his shoulder for a good 5 minutes before I was able to compose myself.
I backed away from him wiping the tears from my eyes. "Um...Sorry about that" I muttered,
"It's okay, I didn't mind" he replied grinning brightly at me. I smiled back at him and pushed my bangs out of my face "well I better go...Do you wanna pick up where we left off tomorrow?" I asked "Yeah that would be great" I nodded at his response "Alright then I'll see you tomorrow" I turned and began to walk away when I felt him grab my wrist, I turned to face him once more, his face showed bewilderment as if he was trying really hard to think of the words he wanted to say, I raised my eyebrow "I-I just wanted to say... Well... Don't dwell on this guy... If he can't see how beautiful you are then he's not worth your tears" I smiled at him and nodded "Bye Zavier"
"Bye" I turned again and walked away.
I arrived home about 20 minutes later, sighing and tossing my bookbag on the kitchen table. I sat on my couch and pulled my tape recorder out of my pocket and pushed play 'Don't worry...you will be in time' I closed my and slumped back deeper into my couch.
"There is no way it could have ever worked out anyways...He was always so distant..." a tear escaped my eye though I quickly wiped it away groaning "THIS IS STUPID!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, 'I'll just stay home for the rest of my life' I thought whilst turning on my T.V
Hour one...Hour two...Hour Three...Hour four...
I looked up at the clock and sighed "It's seven thirty on a friday night and where am I? Sitting at home dateless looking horrible and eating ice cream way to go Vaughn." the phone suddenly began to ring, I glanced over in its general direction and sighed getting up and walking over to stupid piece of technology I called a phone.
"Hello?" I mumbled not really in a talktive mood, "Hey uhh it's Zavier..."
"Oh hey..." I replied with a bit more emotion in my voice, "Yeah I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a local show with me tonight?" he asked a hint of hopefulness in his voice,
"um, I don't know...I've been kind of out of it I just don't think-" I was cut off by him sighing loudly. "Come on, just this once" "once? I was supposed to see you tomorrow" I noted, "Yeah but that's gonna be formal, this is just for fun...so what do you say" I could hear the favorable optimisim in his voice. I slid on the ground next to the phone deep in thought, "I was kind of planning on staying in my apartment for the rest of my life" I muttered, he laughed whole-heartedly into the phone. "You know I definately have to take you out now" I couldn't help but laugh. "Fine..." I groaned "I live at 1364 Parkford Avenue, could you be here in maybe 30 minutes?" I asked forcing myself off the ground, "Yeah totally I'll see you soon!" he said enthusiastically before hanging up.
"Well at least I made his day" I grinned walking into my small bedroom and opening my closet. I was never one to really get dressed up so I just grabbed some black skinny jeans and a faded grey tanktop, I ran a brush through my shoulder length black hair and applied some eyeliner, looking over at my alarm clock I noticed it had only been about 15 minutes.
Sighing I walked into my kitchen and grabbed myself a poptart to snack on while I waited from Zavier to arrive.'Is it just me...or is time going really slow?' I questioned myself, lying on my couch just staring at my ceiling, 'I wonder how many of those little bump things are up there...one, two, three, fou-'
I was jolted out of my deep intriguing thoughts by the sound of the doorbell, falling off my couch I jogged over and opened the door.
I gave a small smile at the sight of Zavier 'wow..' was all that really came to mind when I glanced at him. "Hi.." he mumbled almost nervously.
"hey" I replied silently, grabbing my bag and walking out the door closing it behind me. I walked out of my apartment with him at my side "so who are we going to see tonight?" I asked realizing that I didn't actually know where we were going. "Godchild and Crafted Danger" he replied his voice dark and husky in my ears. I nodded and continued to walk with him to his car, upon arrival Zavier jogged over and opened my door I laughed lifting my sleeve to my lips "and my mother said chivilry was dead" he smiled at me and shook his head "girl, I brought chivilry back in style" I laughed more at his querky response "well at least you make it look good" I giggled. taking my seat on the passengers side. Zavier grinned and shut the door running over to his side and getting the car, "and we're off!" he exclaimed starting his car, I gave him a warm smile and clapped my hands together in artifical glee.
The ride to the venue was relatively quiet except for the several questions that were asked and answers that were exchanged. After about twenty minutes of driving we arrived at Everlasting, "Everlasting?" I said puzzled "I've never been here before" he looked over at me and grinned "that's 'cause it's new" he said walking towards the entrance. The atmosphere inside Everlasting was relatively dark and melancholy the inhabitants were all clad in dark colors ranging from navy blue to pitch black, I felt almost out of place for only wearing a grey tank and some skinny jeans even Zavier was dressed in black and silver tripp pants and a shirt branded with a band logo I've never seen by a band I've never heard of, his hair layed flat against the middle of his back with his bangs neatly pushed off to the left side his body was cluttered with silver necklaces with crosses, earrings, and rings on six of the ten of his fingers.
I looked down at myself 'I should have tried a little harder' I thought wrapping my arms around my small waist. 'Well there's nothing I can do now, may as well try and have a bit of fun' I walked next to Zavier who was standing at the back of a fairly large crowd. Once at his side he looked down at me, "the show should be starting pretty soon" he said looking back at the mainstage I nodded keeping my eyes on the stage. Several minutes later the almost unnoticable lights shut off and and the first band took the stage.
'Hey everyone, we're Godchild!" was all I could hear before the heavy sound of guitars, bass and drums hit my ears. The crowd cheered and began to jump around rocking their heads back and forth vigerously, bodies were slamming into one another, people were falling, it was complete chaos! but it was the kind of chaos I was used to; I watched and listened to every sound that hit my ears like a tidal wave.
I looked up to notice that once again Zavier was not at my side, I sighed "He could at least let me know when he's gonna just take off like that" I mumbled walking into the crowd. My first mistake of the evening. I shoved my way through the hordes of people trying to get to the front of the crowd to see if he had tried to move closer, I looked from my left to my right and didn't see him anywhere "ZAVIER?!" I shouted knowing that he probably couldn't hear me.
"Vaughn?" I heard come from behind me I turned thinking I would see the companion I had come to this place with, unfortunately for me I always end up incredibly wrong? There in my direct line of vision was Dyne, next to him clinging to onto his arm as if for dear life was Brittany. At that moment I felt as though time was going in slow motion. The two people I was doing my best to avoid and escape in the same place... at the same time... gee this was just dandy.