I walked home from the bus stop knowing there was no consolation. Even if Arthur found a way for our relationship to continue, I'd still know what it was to have your will forced. I hope Henry is in excruciating pain. I hope it's killing him, I thought, though I'd rather he suffered than died.
It feels strange to be dead.
On the floor of the porch, I found a note from Arthur, telling me to be at the park at five thirty. I sighed at the pain I could imagine on his face as I followed Henry's suggestions. At least Henry would never get me.
If this doesn't have any impact on Harriet's situation, my life will have no meaning.
What am I saying? I'm already dead.
I got changed and left the house, murmuring a bare explanation to my mother who allowed me to go, without questioning me because I looked depressed and quite frankly suicidal.
At the park, I sat at the lock and waited for my love to appear.
He walked over the bridge, smiling. He frowned when he saw me. He approached me and knelt in front of me.
"What's wrong, princess?"
"I don't love you," I said emotionlessly. I stood up and began to walk away.
Come after me, I thought desperately. He did.
"My love, what's wrong?"
"I don't love you," I repeated. "My life is worth more than anything you'll make it out to be."
Arthur stepped in front of me and gazed at me with a look of despair in his eyes.
"Why are you saying these things?"
Arthur took my hands and kissed me, desperately trying to get a response. I gave none.
"You really don't love me?" he asked, looking lost and helpless like a child. How could Henry say his love for me was fake?
I nodded my head though I desperately wanted to shake it.
"Princess, I don't understand. I thought you loved me."
"Well, I don't."
He let go of my hands. "I, er, guess this is goodbye, then."
"Would you tell me why you don't love me anymore?"
I shook my head.
"Come on, there must be a reason."
"I just don't love you anymore," I said.
He stepped aside looking sad as I trudged home. That evening, I gave dinner a miss, didn't do any homework and suffered a sleepless night.
Arthur stormed into my room.
"What did you do to Harriet Thyme?"
I sat up. It had worked? It had paid off?
"I protected her from you," I replied.
Arthur punched me. "What did you do?"
"I helped her."
"You did something. She told me she didn't love me."
"Perhaps she doesn't."
"She was happy with me!"
"How much of her love was real?" That earned me another punch.
"All of it, you fool."
"And how much of yours was?"
"None," he replied defiantly, too proud to confess his feelings for a girl or, as I suspected, not in love at all.
"Well then how did you expect the relationship to last?"
"I'd have found a way," Arthur replied evasively.
"You seriously don't deserve a girlfriend."
"I obviously do since I had one! You took her away from me! Is she yours now?!"
"No," I murmured sadly.
"Ah, but you'd like her to be, wouldn't you? Always were jealous, weren't you? Trying to take what wasn't yours. You became so self-righteous that you thought stealing was acceptable."
"I am not self-righteous," I said loudly. "I nearly drove the girl of my dreams insane and now I'm dead."
Arthur laughed. "Well, enjoy that because your life officially has no meaning. I know exactly what you've done and I'm going to reverse it."
"She'll say she doesn't love you and you know you can't use your magic powers to bind the two of you together if she's not willing."
I was satisfied as Arthur left my room. My suggestions would last at least a fortnight and perhaps Harriet would find some evidence to make her truly believe that Arthur constituted a threat in her life. I may still have been aching from the torture but part of me had realised that nothing else really mattered if Harriet was safe.
I'm going to get her back. Despite what I told Henry, I do love her. I lied so he wouldn't exploit my vulnerability and ridicule something I take as seriously as my life. I'm going to get her back, put the ring I bought specially which is personalised and will help make our love for each other stronger (almost like an engagement ring in a sense) on her finger, give her beautiful dreams to treasure and memories of me to cherish, and be her perfect guy - the one she always deserved and longed for.
Our lives will be improved, Henry will be forgotten, and then I will enchant Harriet in a way she's never been enchanted before.
As Henry so rightly said in his own diary (he really shouldn't leave that lying around), I'm going to lead her to those oceans of bliss (but real bliss instead of this pretend bliss Henry thinks I've magically conjured up out of nowhere) where I will gently push her head underwater and hold it there until she drowns in it and only has eyes for me. Except that Henry doesn't quite realise that I only have eyes for her and am returning a favour since I drowned, myself, when I first gazed into her eyes.
I can't wait for the bond to become completely binding. My heart aches for it.