The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy  has this to say on the subject of politics:

    Politics is possibly one of the most complex and moronic of all Earth practices. In their inability to accept heirarchal rule, the human race invented "politics", a system in which a good-looking but socially inept lawyer stands on a box and shouts at people about how marginally less good-looking and even more socially inept the other lawyer is, and how they should "elect" him to be their leader because he grew up on a farm ("farm"- an appallingly boring spit of land in the middle of an appallingly large field where animals are born in a barn, cared for by small children, given homely names like Bessie, and then shot and mutilated to make car upholstery) where he cared for a small animal named Bessie.

    The "voters" then engage in violent, bloody war for the next four months about which lawyer will win. They fight this war by sticking big signs on their front lawns and hitting people of the opposing faction with their own signs. Meanwhile, one of the socially inept lawyers will traverse the country condoning pedophilia by kissing infants, while the other will go around raising support by blackmailing homosexual socially inept lawyers by calling them "Communists".

    When the war is over, the laywer with the most "states" invaded becomes the new President (which unfortunately translates into many intergalactic languages as "whore"). The President then makes outlandish promises that even the Great Soothsayer of Quazildeen V couldn't fulfill, and is eventually shot to death after being revealed as a homosexual Communist.

    Politcs are best enjoyed after a cool, refreshing swig of Ol' Janx Spirit.

The End

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