The education system on earth is a long and progressive affair, in this article in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy the main emphasis will be on the British education system.

From birth a child is expected to learn, to read, write, spell correctly and speak correctly. These are no simple tasks and take many years to perfect.

To Read:

In order for a child to learn to read the child must grasp the basic vowel sounds and how the vowels work in co-ordination to non-vowels. As a child the parents of said child will read stories at 'bedtime'. Often said parents will place the finger of the child under each word as they are said. It is also commonplace to hear these words issuing from the parents mouth - "The, Cat, Sat, on, the, Mat. Now you try... The..." and so on until the child has mastered the words and can recognise the words in another surrounding, say a novel or instruction manual.

Children can also learn this skill at an institution of learning, these are commonly known as 'schools' however children often refer to these 'schools' as 'prison'. The basic teaching process is applied as before by not at bedtime.

To Speak:

For a child to master the art of speech much time and endeavour is needed. It is no short task to learn without reference the meaning and correct usage of every word of one language. Many adults would fail to describe and use some words in the correct situations; this seems to apply to the longer and therefore less used words, for example, Antidisestablishmentarianism: meaning people who are against the people against the church, but not necessarily for the church. Use of antidisestablishmentarianism: The people of Little Snoring are petitioning to stop their village church being demolished; however all are either Atheists or Agnostic. They are all practising Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Many Adults fail to learn such long and exact words. How many definitions could be given to words in more common use, such as nice?

The learning process for speech is most usually centred on family and/or guardians of the child. Early examples of the teaching process are available when entering the maternity wards at any hospital. Simply view a mother with child and she will be cooing and making noises not associated with everyday speech, however each sound is a task or example of correct facial manipulation which is key to speech. Making the wrong shape can change the effect of the sound made, a loud open mouth and the 's' sound are almost impossible to make. If one is not sure of this try saying 'impossible' whilst opening ones mouth as wide as possible not allowing the lips to touch whilst commencing with speech.

Some students of speech go through a relapse during their 'teenage' years; this often causes mumbling words, using uncommon language to describe things, an example of this phenomenon is when one such teenager will exclaim 'That's so cool!' when the item of their desire is neither cold or cool to the touch.

Humans also have a 'Secret Language' or 'Slang'. Slang can be in wide use such as, saying something is 'sick' or 'cool' instead of saying it is good, which is a universal change in colloquiums. To the dialect slang such as 'Cockney Rhyming Slang', saying 'Someone's half inched my toy' instead of saying someone has pinched my toy.

And language also varies within one country of same speaking peoples. The accent can warp words into different words over time. Some humans can say you, other ya or yu, each sounding slightly different and meaning the same thing.

But the human race does not just endeavour to learn the language of the people immediately around them; the human race has developed many languages, each spawning from different dialects and slang from one 'root' language. In institutionalised learning many children are taught the basic words in other languages such as bread - pain, brot. One to ten - une a dix, ein zu zenh. Most humans only ever achieve colloquial use of their own language or multiple languages. Some humans learn medical/scientific language on top of their colloquial words but never can they master the entirety of language, colloquial and formal, English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Chinese, and Swahili and so on.

And Humans can be deaf! There are hundreds of different sign languages which use the hands and facial expressions to convey entire sentences, not one universal language for all the deaf but a French sign language and English sign language etc....

In short, language is harder to learn that most people assume later on in life.

The Art of Writing:

The art of writing starts when the child can grasp a tool such as a pen or pencil in said child’s right hand (in 1/10 cases the child will prefer the left hand). The Child will then commence to the next stage, putting the pen to paper (or even a freshly decorated wall).

The child will then learn how to shape the letters of an alphabet and the numbers. This is an artificial system of ordering shapes and numbers to correspond in a filing system. If there was no order the filing system would lie in shambles, this is the case in many pictographic languages where no pictograph precedes another. The filing system of one secretary is unique to each in the country of China, when a new secretary is appointed; a new filing system is needed.

Each child will have their own particular style when writing, some favouring the long loopy letters and other a compact calligraphic style. However the letters do not deviate massively from child to child.

How to Spell:

Spelling is a key aspect in the human nature, many spelling are not phonetic (fon-e-tik) and therefore must be learnt. Another spelling misdemeanour is homophones, words the sound the same but are spelt differently. For Example: Two, Too and To:

I want two go too the zoo and see the to new penguins my friend wants to come along two. In each case the word sounds exactly the same but is spelt differently, giving the sentence no or a different meaning. The correct usage would be: I want to go to the zoo and see the two new penguins; my friend wants to come along too.

Spelling is often never perfected, normally resulting in people being effected by crime and wowed by special affects.

Counting your lucky stars:

The humans not only write in letter form, the numerical system is an artificial system in which each 1 is equal but two 1's are not 11 but an entirely different 'number' - 2. Then another 1 is 3...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 then... humans run out of everyday shapes and add the number in two digits... 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...20... 25... 30... 40... 50... 100 etc... Infinite numbers all equally and artificially placed. 1 banana and 2 bananas and 3 bananas not 1 bananas and 11 bananas and 111 bananas.

Imagine the difficulty in learning a tally system for numbers instead of shaped numbers that we (humans) have: I need you to send 1000 men to place x to defend our enemies. Or I need you to send 11111111111111...........11111 men to defeat our enemies. By the time the men are collected and compared to the number the enemy would surely be old and frail.

Yet most children on earth have this skill as an innate ability, to conform and not ask, why is 2 the same as 1 and 1 and not written as 11.

Compulsory Extra Curricular learning:

In schools children will also learn a variety of other subjects that uses the 'basic' skills, mathematics which uses the counting skills. English which stretches the vocabulary, science which utilises the mathematics, language skills. History which teaches of past times, geography which tells of distant places with different languages... It all relies on earlier learnt skills and with each skill learnt an improved there is more things to learn. The word egg in science eventually gets known as ova. We don't have a working society we have a dichotomy. The Language changes and the child leans more facts and learns how to understand.

In the UK, Children generally start schooling at age 4. They are brought to the same level of reading, writing and 'basic' skills and are taught new facts. They are tested in their third year at school in SATS tests. These identify which areas the child has learnt most in and at what level the child has been working at. In the 7th and 10th year at school the child will be again, tested with SATS tests. For two years afterwards the child will then learn towards GCSEs or Level1&2 BTECs and NVQs - each are all equal by level.  These are marked between a U (upgraded) G-D (Level one qualification) and C-A* (Level two qualification). After ascertaining these qualifications the child may then go and work in a 'job' using the skills and qualifications or they may improve these further in further education at colleges and universities.

Further Education:


At college the child may carry on learning the subjects learnt at school and improve the level of education. They may carry on to a Level 3 BTEC or Level 3 NVQ. Or and A-Level (all are level 3) these all take two years to complete. The A-level is split into two years, Year one is an A/S level. And year two is an A2 level. Year two cannot be completed without year one. Year one can be done separately without year two. The qualification is different; it is called an A/S Level. The two years together are called an A Level.


At university the child may then carry on in very different courses, Taking Bachelor degrees and possibly Master degrees after. Or Taking BTEC level 4 & 5, NVQ levels 4 & 5. The bachelor degree is levelled equally to NVQ level 4 and BTEC level 4. The master Degree course is equal to NVQ level 5 and BTEC level 5. These courses can take between two and 5 years to complete.

Note: A BTEC level 5 cannot be completed without levels 1-4.    The same is for NVQ levels.                                                                  The Masters Degrees cannot be taken without Bachelor Degree, A-Levels, and GCSEs.

Higher levels of education are worth more when the person works in a job, some jobs require certain skills learnt at college or university which are essential for working this job.

*All accounts of the word 'year' refer to one earth year.

And that is the complicated system of learning in one country (the UK) on the pale blue dot.

The End

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