"It feels weird talking to you like this," Leah says, running her left hand over her right arm. "But the doctors say that you can hear us."
I cross my arms over my chest and frown down at my sister. Her face is emotionless and I feel like a pit stop before her final destination; like a charity case. Automatically, I compare her to my sleeping form. Her hair is lighter and her mouth is thinner. She was always a bit smaller than me and always happier.
"You shouldn't have done this Vicki," her voice is strict and I flinch at the sound of it. "Of all things to do, you had to run away from it all."
A rap song suddenly fills the room and the sound makes me jump. Leah reaches in her purse and pulls out her cell phone. Doesn't she know they're not allowed in here? She looks down at the caller I.D. for a moment before deciding to answer.
"Hey," I can hear a male's voice talking to her, his voice deep and unfamiliar. "Yeah, I'm just..." she pauses and looks at me, "I'll be there soon." She hangs up and stares at me, coldness in her eyes. "This wasn't right Vicki," she shakes her head, showing disappointment. "Did you ever think about anyone else, other than yourself? Did you never think of the consequences?"
This confession makes me sit on the bed in front of her, our faces only inches apart. Her eyes, unlike James and my blue ones, are pure green with barely a fleck of any other colour. This close I can see the layers of make-up and... a hint of bags under her eyes? Impossible, she wouldn't lose sleep over me. Would she?
Like all the other visitors, she doesn't sense me here so the effect is awkward as I stare at her and she in turn stares through me. "You never thought of me, mom, dad, or..." she pauses for a brief moment, looking down uncertainly, "James. God, he's a mess. Maybe he would have been better if you would have..." her voice fades as she realizes what she is saying.
"What?" I ask angrily. "It would have been better if I would have succeeded?" I pass my hands through her face, trying to slap her and she flinches. I watch her hair lightly move, as if hit by a soft wind. The effect makes my eyes widen. I didn't know I could do that.
Leah looks around the room, taking in the gifts that I'd received, the machines, and the t.v.. There is fear in her eyes and her lips twitch nervously. Then she gets up and I watch her walk over to the window. Passing her fingers over the sealed window, Leah shakes her head. "That's not possible," she whispers and I realize that though I didn't successfully slap her, I did let her know that her words were being heard. She turns around and faces the bed. "Victoria?"
I stand up and frown at her. "I'm here Leah," I say slowly, walking towards her until I am again only inches away from her. "And I know that I'm the problem in our perfect home, but I don't need reminders." Taking in a deep breath, I reach up my hand and brush her right cheek. Her eyes close as if relishing the moment. "I just wi-wish," my voice cracks as tears start cascading down my face, destroying my strong front, "that you would accept me, that you could love me like before--me and all my faults."
Leah inhales deeply and rushes through me. The effect leaves me empty and hollow. It reminds me of when my parents or friends ignored me when things didn't go their way. I turn and watch my twin sister as she grabs her red and gold purse off of the floor. She dares one last glance in the direction of my sleeping form, before running out of the my room.
I look down at myself and let the tears drop freely. "Were you selfish?"