As I walked to school I did however, find myself able to smile. It was a nice day, the birds were singing and the clouds were pretty, and prehaps the best bit was that I was completly alone.
That soon ended when I met up with my friends who I walked to school with.
"Good morning!" As always when I spoke I sounded sunny, happy and ready for the day ahead. Not the sort of person you'd normally expect in this sort of situation.
"Good morning Libby!" They responded in unison. The girl closest to me was my best female friend Lulu and our other friend Koji.
"Have you seen Jack today Libs?"
That was him. He was my lover and no-one knew, but he was my best friend and everyone knew it, he always hung round with us, it's not like we were a million miles apart. He had always been my best friend ever since we were tiny. We had never been seperated. Like I said; it's always been me.
"No he's on holiday with Ami and her parents!" I smiled sweetly.
They then fell silent until we arrived at school.
Now mine and Jack's school life was... unconventional. We were what some people might call 'prodigys' and what others might call 'know-it-alls'. I choose the former. At the age of 7 Jack and I had passed our GCSE's already and were being fast tracked to 'great things'. That's how we met.
It had been apparent from day one that we got on. It was also pretty apparent that we didn't understand anyone but each other. So at the age of 14 when I had completed my doctorates he asked me to go through high school with him and learn about other people. So I did. That's how we ended up here.
I smiled as we entered through the gates, I did love this place. I had flourished as a person around people my own age, but Jack hadn't been able to take the other students and stay the same.
"Are you and Lib going out?"
"You two should go out!"
"You're such a good couple!"
Those comments for some reason drove him mad. He took it as a criticism and kept the fact that we were together a secret. That's why he bagan to date other girls...
"You ok Libs?" Lulu sounded concerned.
"Oh I'm fine! You know me Lu, I'm always fine!"
She seemed to buy it and we made our way to lesson.
At the end of the day I collapsed onto my bed again. It had been agony! Total agony! I sobbed violently, my dad was at work so there was no-one to hear me cry away the day.
How did he do that?! How did he cripple me like that?! I loved my school, I loved my friends so how was it that one day without him and I was driven near suicidal? I was fine when he was here! Everything was ok when I was with Jack, why couldn't it be that way without him?!
I resigned myself to the fact I would have to live without him some day, so I pushed my agony away and hid it on a shelf at the back of my mind. No matter how much I may hate Jack for doing this to me though, I still leapt at my phone when I got a message.
*Hi Libby, miss you loads having a gr8 time! Wish you were here though, feels strange without you xxxxxxxxxx*
He had enclosed a picture of the beach he was on in the message, white sand, blue water and Ami.
*Why have you sent me a picture of your swimwear-clad gf? =S*
* Message Sent*
I sighed as I looked at the picture. When he had come to me saying he had a girlfriend it had broken my heart in every way. I had acted fine around him of course, but when I got home I had broken down and howled. I'd cryed like a baby for the first time in my life.
I had had one bit of comfort at first though, I had hoped that his girlfriend was absoulutley perfect. I has wanted her to be beautiful, and kind and generous, I had wanted her to be sweet and loving and sexy and to have perfect skin. I loved Jack so deeply I wanted him to have the best woman in the world...
I sighed once more at the picture. Her face was covered in violent acne, far worse than the spots on my forehead, Her matted ginger hair was screwed up in one of those rubber swimming caps and her freckled skin had been burnt lobster red in her medieval one-piece. And I was far from vain but she looked like a man! I felt bad for thinking it but it was true, she had no breasts whatsoever and such strong, masculine features! Even I was better looking than her. And she was mean, she picked on kids half her age, yelled at people she'd never met before and when I first introduced myself her response had been:
"What the hell is this loser saying?! Why is it talking to me?!"
She hadn't even had the decency to introduce herself to me!
My bitter thoughts were interupted by another text from Jack.
*Oops wrong pic! Anyhow Ami's mum just hurt her back so there's been a change of plan, I'm coming back tomorrow! I'm kinda glad.... don't think I can stay away from you that long I'd go crazy! x*
I know. You all told me not to be so dependent on him and not to let him take me for granted. You told me to end the affair, to not take it anymore. But as I read the meassage I felt my heart lift and my tummy flip. It was ok when I was with him, I couldn't help it, that was just the way it was.