In Which Cedric Drags his Feet

"Well," said Cedric, "as inspiring as that was, I've had enough of this nonsense without even leaving the room. So I think I'll pass."

There was no reply from Suit.

Cedric tried for a while to get another station on the TV, and upon failing that, simply stared around the room at the different oddities, generally just passing the time. It didn't take long for him to grow bored, though, and with boredom came sleepiness. He yawned heavily and shuffled into the hospital bed further, intending on taking a nap.

"You don't want to do that!"

"I thought you were gone," Cedric sleepily muttered, not sounding much like he cared one way or the other. "You know, 'Nothing more I can do?'"

"That speech usually does the trick..." said the creature, in a manner befitting of one talking mostly to oneself.

"Why do you care?" Apparently the desire to sleep had removed any inhibitions about speaking with figments of his imagination as if they were conscious beings.

"Unlike that slacker Jeans—


"—Jeans, I actually lose very few guests. I have a reputation to maintain."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Another yawn. "If it's any consolation, as soon as I wake up you'll cease to exist."

"You are a stubborn one, aren't you?"

Ignoring this, Cedric settled back in for his nap.

"Cedric, let me appeal to your logic. If I am correct, then you have everything to lose by continuing on your chosen path. If you are correct, you have nothing to lose but a few winks of imagined sleep. Being stubborn is simply not the right option."

As much as Cedric hated to admit it, the creature spoke sense (though as far as he was concerned, sense had no place in ridiculous, coma-induced dreams). He really was being stubborn, if he thought about it. It had been awhile since he'd had a dream this vivid anyway; he should have been enjoying it.

"Alright, alright, fine," Cedric said, sitting up in his bed.

I think I'm entitled to being a little difficult, he though. I did get in a car accident, after all.

"Yes you did, and a rather nasty one at that," Suit chimed in. "Shame. It'll make things much more bothersome for you."

"What d'you mean?" Cedric asked, distracted by the task of disentangling himself from his bedsheets so he could get on his feet. "Make what bothersome?"

"Waking up, of course. It's different for everyone, but the extent of your injuries is directly related to the intricacy and difficulty of the endeavour."

"Fantastic," Cedric muttered, his vitriol giving sarcasm afficionados the world over the chills. He was, by this time, rummaging around the room, clearly looking for something in particular.

"Whatever are you doing?" Suit inquired, lying contentedly on thin air somewhere above Cedric's head.

"Like you don't already know," Cedric replied. "Why don't you just read my mind?"

"Well that would just be rude."

Cedric could feel the affronted look on the thing's face(s). He rolled his eyes.

"I'm looking for my clothes," he explained. "Where have they gone?"

"That," said Suit, gesturing toward Cedric's hospital gown, "is what you arrived wearing."

"Great. Stuck in a mad dream land and I don't even have any proper clothing."

"You're an awfully sour individual, aren't you?" Suit commented.

Cedric sighed. "Well, not usually. I'd just rather not be this in... this." He looked down and started to indicate his clothing, but froze when he realized he was now wearing a very sharp suit in the same brain-frying colours as Suit's.

Cedric's eyes crossed of their own accord trying to make sense of the logic-defying palette, causing him to screw them shut and look away.

"Er, thanks," Cedric said, avoiding Suit's gaze this time out of sheepishness, not necessity. "Maybe... a different colour, though?"

"Suit yourself," Suit said, barely containing a mad giggle at his little joke.

Cedric cautiously opened his eyes and looked once more at his attire, happy to see he was now wearing the exact shade or charcoal he'd had in mind.

"Thanks again," he said as he watched Suit slither around the floor in his peripherals. He sounded much more grateful this time around.

"No no," Suit chided, wagging an impossibly long finger. "That, was all you."

"Huh. Lucid dreaming, I guess."

"Not quite," Suit said, but he left it at that. "Are we ready for our romp across the Kingdom, now?"

Cedric straightened his suit and took one last look around the room. He wouldn't particularly miss it, especially the little suction cup-bests, which seemed to be coming around. They were certainly starting to wiggle again, anyway. Cedric didn't understand why, but he had the distinct feeling they were staring hungrily at him, even though they had no eyes to speak of.

Cedric shuddered. "Let's get out of here," he said, making his way to the exit.

The door opened as he approached it, bathing Cedric in a light that, while not quite blinding, surely wasn't doing his retinas any favours. Shielding his eyes, Cedric stumbled out the door, and into his grand, deranged adventure.

The End

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