Here's the deal. I go to a private school in BC. There is a music festival every year and my school was selected to go to this festival in August to preform in Beijing, China. Only one other school in Canada was selected to go from NewfoundLand. Our school was selected from a prestation called The Gratitude Project. How it works is say something for example: Thank you for helping me with my math homework mom. Notice how your voice gives off different pitches and it has a rythem. its not plain and simple da-da-da-da-da. it has rythm and a beat and different pitches. So what my school does is we write out gratitude things to thank someone in a unique way. For example:
Hey mom, when you made me dinner
I felt loved, happy and greatful that I had food in my tummy
It met my need to be nurtured and loved.
This has three or four stages to it. 1)Identify the action 2)Tell them how it made you feel 3)Identify the needs it met or what it needs it didn't meet (ill explain in a second) and there is a fourth step too. If someone is saying, for example, mean things to you, you can use this same approach:
Hey, when you say mean hurtful things to me
It makes me feel angry, annoyed and fusterated.
It doesn't meet my need to have a civil conversation or to feel appreciated.
And I request that if you speak to me you only say nice things.
Notice how I only use 'I' statements? No one can logically argue an 'I' statement.
I had such a great holiday! I felt so happy!
No, you didn't.
You own your own feelings and no one can take that away from you so if you are approaching some one with this statement only use the 'I' statements. You will be shocked on what the effects of this are. For the music class we are taking parts of the speach and then playing it. example:
The yellow smoke twirled aroud
so we would play:
the yel-low smoke went up
so Da da-da Da Da-da
Try it!! Come up with a simple thank you weather its for clean clothes or a bed to sleep in. Say thanks to someone and make it a chapter on this story.
So heres my first one:
Hey dad when you agreed to let me get my pet Bearded Dragon i felt happy, excited, loved, respected and appreciated and it met my needs to feel respected and accepted for who I am.