It was almost noon, Lea was going to be fired. Her mind was a blur, she hated herself at that moment but was too stressed to think about anything but walking faster. At the point of being four hours late saving five minutes wouldn't make much difference. That didn't`t matter to her; she was hardly thinking, she was merely serving her natural fight or flight response at the thought of loosing her livelihood.
Ignoring everything she quickened her pace. She found comfort in the pain developing in her calves. She walked through puddles despite her open shoes and bumped passed a woman holding an infant with out so much as an excuse me. Everything seemed to be moving faster, everything was louder and clearer, the colours seemed brighter and everything had a darker outline. It was as if someone had painted over the scene the way they used to make black and white photos look like they had been taken in colour.
She began to calm as she came closer to the office building, she began to stop caring as she knew almost assuredly what the outcome would be, or at least she was numb to it. Her thoughts returned to the argument that had occurred the evening before. She still wanted him but didn't know why, he was flippant to say the least. She pushed it out of her head with little effort.
Her head felt so very hot. She was dizzied by her own nerves "Fuck it" she mumbled to herself as she lit up a cigarette in front of the building. 'What am I going to say... Should I lie...I will tell them I was in a traffic accident... No they will know I'm lying. What will they say... It doesn’t matter I guess. I will just tell them the truth, for once. Who knows maybe that will work.' She thought this knowing that it really wouldn’t matter anyways.
She watched the people passing by, trying to gather her nerves. Across the street a man sat just staring at her. He didn’t seem to blink. `He is handsome` she thought as her eyes quickly moved towards the ground in front of her. She lit up another smoke, inhaling it and listening to the burning fizzle, watching the ember grow as she pulled hard on it. It seemed like it took mere seconds to finish it. He was still there as she looked one last time as she crushed the but under her muddied shoes before entering the building. He hadn’t moved he just stared.
As she pushed through the rotating doors her mind became hyper aware of her surroundings, yet she was unable to focus her mind the way she needed it to. She moved towards the elevators 'Fuck, shit, oh god. Stop it fucking stop.` She punched the button for her floor, she noticed her stocking was torn. She tried to hike it up so it wouldn't be seen under her skirt hem. It tore beyond the point of being able to hide it as she pulled. She lifted her head ready to look at her reflection in the closing copper elevator doors. Did she look as sallow as she felt?The door was only open an inch, but she saw him, the man from across the street was there. His face inches from the closing door looking right into her eyes.