a little girls perfect life suddenly got turned upside down when she is left in the hands of her dad who is turning into an alchololic.
He dammages her too much and soon is sent to live with the angels where she meets her idol once again.
The leaded door slammed shut- just like my heart when I heard his bold footsteps.
My eyes fell to the ground and my whole body turned lifeless.
''GET UP!'' He commanded.
I wanted to shout at back at him but I retained my anger inside my thumping heart which i thought could've been heard from china.
My heart was very important to me, alongside my brain. Them both together took me into another world. Another world where there was no pain, no hurt and no heartbreak. My world seemed perfect, perfect for anyone to that matter. The skies were always blue, they never failed to brighten up my day and the fresh but gentle wind blew my long golden hair into the sky, mimiking a kite on a windy day.
''THATS IT, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU'' I heard him shout
Nastyness doesnt exsist in my world, i thought with a confused mind.
Wait, Im back to reality, back to my normal life.
My face went numb. Numb like the feeling i have for him.
He doesnt like me, i swear, but i don't understand why.
I dont understand most things he does to me, i have done nothing wrong, yet he totally disagrees to me.
''STOP IT, STOP'' I annouced loudly, nearly exploding with anger and pain.
Anger and pain were the two words i used the most. I know they are negative but when my eyes slowly close, anger turns into proudness and pain turns into joy.
''I HATE YOU GIRL, I HOPE YOU KNOW IT!' he screamed as the smell that came pouring out of his vial mouth could have made even the strongest alcoholic, drunk
'Thank you for saying that because i dont like you either' i quietly answered back, i didnt dare say it to his mean face.
The horses with long maines and sparkeling hooves elagently cantered past me, churning up the bright yellow sand beneath my feet. My eyes opened soo wide it could nearly see 360 and my mouth was wide enough for a trian to pass through.
''Ouch, What was that ?'' i said to myself, as i was peacefully alone.
Its only a bit of sand, that won't harm me as i have magical powers that shield any sort of pain.
Now that was painful! Why can i feel that? I questionned myself.
Oh thats why. Back 'home' again.
'' NOW SHUT UP LITTLE GIRL AND DO WHAT I SAY''
One thing i have said nothing, the second thing is that i am 11 years old and also i have my own mind. I really felt like exclaiming that to him, but once again, i knew the consequences.
I colapsed onto the hard floor. I let my limbs flop and act like a rag doll as my last bits of energy were drained.
Whats the point of standing up for myself ? I queried, it gets me nowhere!
I started to feel angry.
My eyes stayed firmly shut, trying so hard to take me to my perfect home, but nothing happend.
His wated boots clomped on the floor bordes and i recieved the vibrations of his each and every move.
As he left the room, he took the bad things with him and soon, i found myself sitting on the highest, greenist hill you have ever seen!
I could see for miles.
I could even see the enterance to heaven, shinning so boldy down on my world. The gates were so big, i bet even a giant couldnt touch the top of them and the cloudes surrounding the enterance were so perfectly formed.
Perfect, i like that word. Perfect means that you love everything. Perfect means that everything is how you want it to be, and you know, perfect is how i want my second world to be.
'' OH YOU STUPID *&^$%^&&*^^ '' He moaned. I could hear his dangerous words even from way down here in the cellar.
That was a sign for me to get ready again.
Not to get ready to escape, nor to go out to play, but to brase myself for his arrival.
My room, or should i say, the space where i remain day in day out started to dim, slowly getting darker and darker.
Whether that was the night passing before my eyes or my eyes automatically shutting again, brasing my body to protect it as much as it could, im not sure.
I tried to make myself comfortable, but its not easy when you have nothing belonging to you. Actually, i have the dust that lines my feet, and a pen that i examin all the time thats mine. Well tell a lie, i did take my blue and green pen from the table when i tried to steal somthing out of the fridge that once.
Talking of food, im really hungry. Not 100% sure when i last ate, maybe it was last tuesday when i got thrown that loaf of moudly bread.
When i was little, about four or five i went to a zoo and had a brilliant day out. Nearing the end we stopped off at the lion enclousure and caught a glimpse of a keepe chucking in a chunky sized piece of meat to the lions.
Thats how i felt when i recieved that bread last week, but yuumm, i wouldnt mind eating that cold meat now, to be honest!
My mum was the best mum in the whole wide world. I know that most children say that about their mums, but mine seriously was.
We were such a happy family when she was here. Played games everynight, stayed up late watching comdey films even on school nights!
Once, i remember sitting at our new dining table that cost us £300.00 from the furniture shop next to pound land, eating this amazingly fresh salad that, wait for it, came from MacDonalds.
Everyone loved take-aways. I meant that mum didnt have to cook, and that i didnt have to eat everything, yet Dad wasnt pleased as it came out of his wages and cost him petrol money to go and get it.
I didnt mind however, mum used to say: Boys these days!
I smiled and didnt think anything of it, but now, i realise that was when he started to change.
That night i climbed into my comfy bed and began making a badge representing the award for the bestest mother in the world. When i finished, i held it up in the air and admiried it untill i fell asleep.
Meals became less frequent, yet the arguments increased and increased.
My mood changed from being outgoing and happy to having less confidence and becoming quieter.
Before long, something terrible happend.
I woke up one morning, it was such a beautiful day. Even at 7:30 am the sun was high in the sky, singing away and playing with its friends. The birds were not left out either, they were dancing on the telegraph wire with the butterflies swiftly passing, whilst keeping the score of the contest.
So, i headed downstairs, passed the window by the stairs, it looked a tad dirtier, and the flowers were not as sharp as they were a few days ago. The stairs seemed to be sad, the steps seemed bigger and more of a challenge to get down, but that didnt bother me.
I shuffled past the living room door, and into our kitchen.
There were no lights on. The kettle wasn't singing nor was the washing-machine.
''Hmmm,Strange'' i said.
Noone replied to my puzzled question.
My eyes along with my forehead scrunched up and my shoulders felt tense and unsure. I carefully wondered into the dinning room to see smashed glasses on our floor.
Noone could ever break something without getting away with it, especially on my parents' new floor.
Something was up. I knew it. Everything seemed far too strange to be normal.
Apart from the mean glass that looked ever so innocent on the floor, the atmosphere felt odd, a sensation i have never felt before.
On the left hand side, something caught my eye.
Ontop of the computer desk, by the PC games was a tiny piece of paper, that looked like it had been set on fire at corners was lying softly yet something on that paper bursted out at me.
'Its over, its over, its over, its over' Circled around and around in my confused head. There was no reply to the phrase, which for some reason, i expected, but like mummy used to say, don't expect anything, it will arrive when you least expect it to'
That matched just how i felt. 'When you least expect it to, it happends'.
I didnt expect my mummy to leave me with him, but she did.
I stayed strong and faught back the tears that trickled down my warm cheeks. The ice cold tears melted into my skin and i felt empty.
Before long,, i found myself curled up in the corner of my room. Even though it was pink and i had soo many teddies, i didnt feel happy, nor at peace.
I just wanted my mum to come running and give me one of her cuddles where i absorbed all the perfum smells from her into me, you see, that way i felt like her, strong, brave and powerful.
I cried for mum. She didnt appear. And, i think at that stage in my life, i realised that nothing lasts forever, in my case happiness.
''BANG BANG BANG, OPEN THE F**** DOOR'' he forcefully ordered
I managed to gather enough energy to shout it downstairs.
'' JUST OPEN THE DOOR YOU LITTLE S********''
My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.
My body felt different and my mind shut down.
'I better open the door, the angel said on my left shoulder, Dont open it, he sounds far too angry, the devil said'.
I went with the angels opinion because my always said that angels are much better than devils, but....
This angel wasnt nice to me, because she told me to open that door.Opened that door that dammaged my life, so she must have been the devil.
Oh why did i listen to her, i remarked.
Why, oh why oh why' I screamed at myself for making the wrong descision, i will never forgive myself for doing that
I felt so small, so helpless. I wasd under his control now, his long strong breaths flowed down my spine and made it shiver.
The force that came out of his muscles was unbelieveably strong, and it was no problem pushing me down the stairs, to end up in a dark , damp, dull pit.
I kept count using the technique i got taught at school to keep a track of how long it has been since mummy left.
77 days past and it must have been my lucky day.
Not only did i get a cheese and pickle sandwhich form him, but as a small amount of light escaped into my space when he pushed open the small, dwarf like door, something shinny took my fancy.
I picked it up straight away, and placed it gently into the palm of my cold hand.
It was round, black, cold and had a sharp end to the left of it. The stone seemed so useful but so useless in this environment.
''Owww'' i groaned.
Ooops, the veins in my throat grew more noticeable, but noone was there to notice it, i felt a tad warmer, proberbley because of my cheeks blushing.
'Red Paint' started to ooze from my arm, it trickled past my wrist and dripped onto the floor. The colours bleneded together so nicely, i wanted to see it happen again.
I soon noticed that i could get enough blood to draw pictures on my hands, they looked just like tatoos. I used my fingers to set out the sceens i experienced in my perfect world, hoping they would somehow pop open and be life-size.
A few hours later after drawing Fudge, the cream coloured horse i own, i started to feel weak and my head began to spin.
I began to feel really helpless and my mind was thinking of nothing. My head grew heavier and soon after i was unable to moove my limbs.
Deep darkness covered my eyelids then nothing.
White light pearced through my skin, entered into my eyes and nearly blinded me!
The brightness was so intense as my eyes hadn't adjusted to any sorce of light.
Was I in heaven? Heaven has white lights, doesn't it?
No. I was lying on a medical bed, that smelt so clinical and fresh.
''Lucy, Lucy, Can you hear me?'' an imaptient nurse said
Of course I can hear you, im not deaf! i replied
''Lucy open your eyes if you can hear me darling'' a panicy voice orderd.
My eyes are open, i remarked.
Then i started to doubt myself as the nurses kept at me asking me to do things that they asked me a million times before.
Everything went dead silent.
I couldn't hear any nurses, docotors or machines, and anything else that i was surrounded by any more.
The silence was nice, by at the same time, creepy as it was how i felt in my space back at my 'second home'.
All of a sudden, a smooth, silky hand touched mine, squeezed a little and then a kiss was placed on my right hand.
Wow. That felt so nice, no words can describe how i felt. It was so gentle yet so powerful, so careful yet meaningful.
Something was placed on my chest, around my neck, like a necklace i think. It was really heavy for what it was but it brought peace to me.
In the distance, straight infront of me, i could see a white slim figure with a slight smile and wavy blonde hair.
She turned around as if she wanted to show me her wings, which i must say were stunning. Her cute slippers lit up the darkness and her eyes looked just like a princesses'.
I couldnt take my eyes off of her, she was perfectly formed.
I was amazed to see her open her delicate arms, followed by a sweet sounding voice calling my name.
''Luuuucyyyy'' it was a soothing sound.
''You're home now, follow me Lucy'' she stated as her rosy red lips moved.
Sure enough, i followed her untill we both reached a pair of pure white gates floating on the most perfectly formed clouds i have ever seen. I didnt even have time to blink nor pinch myself to see if what was happening was real, before the gates just slowly started to part from eachother and present us both with enough room to elegantly walk through.
''I will leave you here now Lucy, and if you have any problems, don't panic, ask that man over there', she pointed to the right where a good builded sized man was sitting in a white draping gown.
His head turned ever so smoothly to the direction where i stood astonished. His face had no expression, yet made me feel wanted and calm.
He winked at me and introduced himself.
I could see my feet, they were in a pair of gold and pink barbie slippers that i had always wanted.
I was walking yet i couldn't feel the ground. I didnt mind, i didnt want to get my new slippers dirty, not like the ground looked filthy anyway.
My eyes were set on a ledge at the end of the path. I got there rather quickly, faster that i would have on foot. When i placed my bottom onto the seat, i felt ontop of the world.
I could see everything from that ledge, which made a smile appear on my face, a smile that i hadnt used in 2 years.
The red dye on my skin was no longer there, nor were the scars that were inbedded on my arms and legs. My heart didnt feel broken, and i didnt feel alone anymore.
As i glanced into the sky, i peered down and saw the world.
Not just the blue and the green that made up the world, but all the people who lived there.
I could spy on what people were doing, playing, eating , singing, generally everything they happend to be doing.
It made me feel warm inside to watch other children playing hop-scoth at school on the tarmac in england, and teenagers playing roulette in france. All these people had the most splendid smiles on their faces, that couldnt have been any bigger or lasted for any longer.
Amongst all the good stuff, i felt cold patches all around the world.
When i took a closer look, i could see little children who looked like me, locked away in a room without anything. This made me angry and i questioned God.
I posed him a question,
'God, Why are these children unhappy, can we not make them happy like them people over there?'
His mythical voice replied:
'Lucy, life is not easy for everyone you know. I set these people a challenge in life to be strong, soon they will see their reward'.
I felt reassured, and one by one, these human beings began to shine.
They started growing a smile.
They started getting up and dancing around with people who they loved.
They started loving life, enjoying it to the max'.
God was still next to me holding my hand firmly.
'Euhmmm...'' i hesitated
'Lucy, if you were going to say that you miss your life down there, its okaye to feel like that. I just wanted to take you away from that life and lead you to one where i know for a fact you will be loved.' He informed me.
I said nothing, i felt shocked that he knew what i was going to say.
I agree with him you know, and i am ever so thankful that he let me live with him. He is such a caring man, i almost find it impossible to believe there is someone who exsists like that.
He left me sitting on the ledge, admiring the strenght of the people below me as a familiar smell wofted across my nose.
I admitiatly turned around, and to my amazement, the best mummy in the world stood standing tall and happy, with her huggably arms wide open for me to come running into.
''I Love You, Darling, I never stopped loving you Lucy, i hope you know that'' she wispered into my ear.
As my skin touched hers, i took a deep breath and the heavy wait that i felt land on my chest earlier became clear to me.
It was as if i was looking in the mirror. My mummy was wearing the same necklace as me, shinning vibrantly on her chest.
''Mum, why is my necklace broken in half just like yours?'' I asked as it confused me.
She made that special noise with her tunnled lips
Before I had chance to ask her again, our necklaces joined together to make one whole pendant.
''I've been waiting a long time to see this you know Lucy'' she told me.
''And I have too''
I agreed, as i placed the award i made her a long time ago on her top.
Nothing more was said, She held me so tight in her arms i felt as safe as a baby in their mothers arms, her head rested apon mine as our pendant swayed angelicly in the slight breeze of the night.
The moon and the stars watched over us, and im sure they were not the only things to do so.