It's the middle of the night. I'm lying on my little bed in my little plastic room, waiting for Dr Aines. I'm pretending to be asleep. The walls of the room are throbbing in time with my heart; moving towards me, then away, then back. It's disorienting. Cynthia's screaming. The Devil's moaning. The other voice - the new one - is singing a beautiful, mournful lullaby. It might be Them. I have thought of that - it might be Them, in my head, lulling me into sleep, blissful, eternal sleep. But I don't mind. If it is Them, then I'll die. And Cynthia will be gone. And if it's not, then Hannah will help me and we'll find the mirror and I'll destroy my demon and Cynthia will be gone. I can't lose anything that I haven't already lost. My life? No.
I lost my life when the caretaker at the graveyard lost his. I lost it piece by piece to the rhythmic thud of a spade against a skull, like some sort of perverse dance, unfolding slowly to a diabolical beat. I could feel my soul moving - like a lead weight, tied to my heart, dragging me down, dislocating me. I don't think I'm human any more. I think Cynthia broke my soul. I think I'm damned. I'm God-like; I'm an otherness. Maybe I am God, or maybe He's just out to get me. I don't know. My head hurts. The door creaks open. Hannah Aines stands in the doorway.
"We don't have long." I nod. We leave. I gasp when the door opens. I haven't been outside for so long, I'd forgotten how the world was. I'd forgotten the little blades of grass, struggling towards the sky. I'd forgotten the chill bite of the winter wind. I'd forgotten the celestial grace of the pinprick stars on a clear, dark night. Hannah Aines tugs my arm. We get into her car. There was only one monastery in the city, and we reached it quite quickly. We park outside, but neither of us move.
"Clara, you said she killed... children." I nodded. "Was it you?" I shook my head.
"I'm not the first person she's possessed." Hannah looks out on the monastery - I can tell she's beginning to believe me. The grey walls tower above us, covered in dark ivy. The grounds are overgrown, and the door is barely visible underneath the grey-green shrubs and trees. I'm shaking. Turn around. Go. You shouldn't be here. I can't go. I have to do this, I know I have to do this or they'll get me. It's the door - I can tell by the door. It's darker than most doors, it means someone is going to die. I whimper. It's going to be you. I don't care any more. I don't care if it's me that dies. The Devil has your soul. You must sacrifice her, and I can be free. Sacrifice her. She's right. I have to do it. I have to free her - it's the only way to make her go away. "We should go," I say. We get out of the car.
Good. This is good, Clara. You're doing so well, my love. Go to him, go to the Devil.He is the only one who can save you. Do as I say, I'll help you. She only wants to hurt you.
We walk up to the dark, dark door, and I push it open. A familiar uneasy atmosphere settles over us as we approach the altar. I reach out towards it, drawn by some magnetic force, and then the mist is whirling around us again. I can barely see Hannah, and I don't care. I walk towards the altar of my master, and there He is. His beautiful body springs from God's blasphemous earth and he smiles. I can feel him in me - in my head, in my heart, filling me up completely, encompassing me in thick, warm pleasure. I hear Hannah Aines call me. She is trembling at the sight of my master. I am pushed to the back of my head, I am subconscious. Cynthia takes control. She comes to her master, and I realize what I have done. I have lead the two parts of a demonic puzzle to each other. My body is no longer mine, and I barely even exist as He ravishes Cynthia through my body. I vaguely hear Hannah stumbling through the mist, calling my name.
I hear the Devil speak to Cynthia in a diabolical language, and I don't know what he says but I can tell it's not good. I struggle, but I can feel my form diminishing. There's nothing I can do but watch and cry as she seizes Hannah, forces her onto the altar, and rids her of the clothes. I feel a slight sting as a blade penetrates my arm, and I watch a river of thick, warm blood pour from it onto Hannah, who is struggling wildly. Cynthia holds her down, and the Devil plunges a dagger deep into her chest. Blood fountains up and hits me in the face, covers me. I feel something tear - and suddenly I am looking down on the situation. Cynthia looks down at her new body - my body, and grins at Lucifer. They come together in an embrace, and I know that I have to stop them. I know that I have freed something terrible, something worse than Hell itself. I have made the Devil complete.
I hear the singing voice again, and I see a beam of light. It strikes the surface of something and penetrates the gloom. A mirror. There is a ghostly figure standing beside it, bathed in the purest white light. You must stop them, sings the voice. I don't know how. The figure seems to know this, and it floats towards me and seems to take my hand. Together, we drift towards Hannah's body. A terrible calm falls over me as I see it, and I know what I must do. I possess her. Inside Hannah's body, I get up, and she mirrors my actions. I worry, suddenly - the singing voice in Hannah's office had said that I'd need to destroy my demons... what if the demon in the mirror is Hannah's? I hear the lullaby voice again, and I know that Hannah's demons died with her. I look in the mirror and I freeze.
I see me.
And not Cynthia in my body - I look deep into the mirror girl's eyes, and I know that it's me. I collapse to my knees and sob. Cynthia whirls around and they see me. She shrieks, an awful, unearthly shriek, and they swarm towards me, and I know this is it. I'm gone. I close my eyes, but they angelic figure flings itself in between us, shielding me from harm. A few urgent notes in my ear force my head towards the mirror again. I stand, and I reach out. I touch the glass. The girl in the glass touches my hand. My beaten and broken soul is throbbing, sobs choke and die in my throat. I want to hold this mirror-girl. I want to tell her everything will be okay. A tear drops down her face. I know what I have to do. I know I will die. The girl in the mirror nods. The girl from my mind - the girl in the shadows. She wipes away her tear and nods. She's ready. So am I. I understand now - I created this. I started this chaos, it's a product of my mind, my tormented soul. In order to destroy it, I have to destroy myself.
So who am I? I save the world from the Devil; I'm the hero. I lose my life; I'm the victim.
I look down at the body I inhabit - Hannah's cold, dead body. Hannah, who stood by me, who understood me, who helped me. Hannah who died for me.
I'm the villain.
I pick up a fallen brick.
I smash the mirror.