While I'm tidying up, Nannie gets back from wherever she's been and narrows her eyes at me.
"It smells of beer in this room," she tells me, picking up on the fact that I helped her clear out all the alcohol from the house.
"Mum hides it in her room."
"Of course she does," Nannie purses her lips and I wonder whether or not she's being sarcastic.
I get to doing my homework at about eleven, and there's still thoughts whirring around in my head.
The way Anna made me feel betrayed, and yet I still struggle to be angry at her.
Anna is my friend. For years, until I moved to sit with Trish and her group of boys, she was my only friend. I can't let that go, but I also can't let go of her racism and the fact that she's only friends with me out of pity. And still I cling onto her defense of me, that small display of loyalty.
And then there's Seb. What am I going to do with Seb? The awareness that he's breaking down becomes stronger every day, and it battles hard against the fight that's still in me which says I can save him.
And I can save him. I will. Whatever it takes, I will not let him leave me.