Part Thirty-TwoMature

To Daniel, I no longer exist. He looks at me like I'm an empty space, if he ever actually does look at me. He seems angry all the time, and doesn't even bother trying to hide it.

All the guys ask me what's wrong with him, and I have to tell them honestly that I don't know. 

The only thing I'm actually sure of is that it's undeniably my fault.

I can't work out whether it's what I told Seb, or what I told the doctor about counts.

It could be both.

Maybe it's not either of those things.

Trish has her theories, and she stares at me while she mutters them to Tobias and Seamus. 

Evan does his own muttering of persuasive words to Daniel. He says that I need to know what I've done for my own sake, and that he'll do anything to find out for me.

Nobody really feels comfortable talking to Daniel and I about each other, because they consider this to be a delicate situation and they don't want to cause offence. 

More and more I find myself in conversation with Judo. He never runs out of questions. Sometimes they're random, like what my favourite Disney film is. Other times they're more personal, like what I think of my mother.

Judo is perfect if I want to rant about something, and it doesn't matter how important it is. He always wants to know, he never seems uninterested.

The thing I like most about him is that he isn't afraid to say his true opinion, and that if he doesn't understand something, he'll say it outright.

And he knows when to move on. Like the time he says he doesn't understand suicide.

I simply reply, "I don't either," and he easily changes the subject.

If it wasn't for Judo, school would become a place I really dislike.

The End

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