Super Bastard attempts to steal milk, but is caught by the security staff.

"No, you tried to steal some milk!" chanted the two security guards at once in an attempt to I & C (intimidate and confuse). "No, you nearly got away with it! Don't steal it again - we'll get a baked-bean pizza out."

So saying they produced a gleaming baked-bean pizza for Super Bastard and gave it to him free with a glint in their teeth.

"I needn't bother stealing stuff now," thought Super Bastard, "People just give me food and that free."

He got home and ate the baked-bean pizza. He then got into bed and sweated and sweated and sweated until he'd rotted through the entire bed and he awoke with a "thump" as he crashed onto the floor, sore, saw, swore and realised he was surrounded by bits of broken plastic, burnt wood and melted sheets.

"So that's why they handed me that baked-bean pizza with such delight," he realised, the awful truth dawning on him. "So I'd sweat so much I'd rot my bed to pieces."

The End

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