Super B. Gets a Job in a British Gas Call Centre

On the way to his new job, Super Bastard nipped into his local Bensons For Beds store and bought a new bed to replace the rotted one.   He dragged it all the way to the call centre, which was extremely difficult, as it meant dragging it hundreds and hundreds of miles, including a longish sea voyage. 

When he arrived in at his new place of employment, he was rather glad of the bed, because it had tired him out, dragging a two-drawer divan base  from Hammersmith Flyover to Mumbai.  Luckily, Bensons had agreed to deliver the mattress.  He struggled to get the base through the doors, but some of his new colleagues helped.  He lay down, asking if he could take this sleep as his lunch break, and they were very amenable to this idea.  Unfortunately, after his long bed-dragging journey, as well as being tired, he was also very sweaty, and it was very hot in the Call Centre, so he sweated and sweated and sweated and this new bed was subject to the same fate as the previous one. 

He decided to do something about it.  He took the label which was all that remained of the bed base,and looked for a number.  Luckily, there were an awful lot of telephones around, most of which were ringing.  He found one that wasn't, and dialled the number on the label.


''This is Super Bastard.  I bought a bed from you and the first time I slept on it it rotted to pieces.  I would like a new one please.''

''ThankyouforcallingBensonsHelplinewhereareyoulocatedcaller?'' asked Paulspeaking.

He gave Paulspeaking the address.  Paulspeaking was amazed.  ''I'minthecallcentrenextdoortoyoucaller.'' he said.  ''Iwasintendingtocallyouaboutmygasbillactually.''

They chatted for a while.  He told Paulspeaking to forget the bed base.  He still had a mattress to come.  He agreed to write off Paulspeaking's gas bill.

Then he went home.

The End

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