Ok so today, I had some biscuits. But that was all. I mean, that's the best day so far right?
God I can just imagine myself in a few years. I'll be like those people that have to get lifted out of their houses by cranes, and I'll be on tv and all my class mates will laugh.
Alternatively... there's always diet pills?
But I'm not sure I could deal with all the... you know... pooing! I mean imagine, sat in class, adn then you realise you need to go. How awkward would it be if you had one of those teachers, whose always in a mood- you know the ones?
You ask to go to the toilet, and they go 'Is it urgent? Do you really have to go?'
I'm sorry, do you want me to give you full details of what I'm going to do in the toilet to make you understand that if you don't let me out I'll crap down my legs?
I mean, what sort of a question is that? How are you really supposed to answer? I mean, most people just say yes, but if you think about it- why is your teacher asking you if it's urgent if you ask them in class? Surely if it wasn't urgent, you'd wait till the end so you wouldn't have to do the humiliating walk to and from the door. Not even beginning to discuss the fact that you have to be as fast in the toilet as you possibly can, because if you're in there too long you get jeered at for having a 'school poo'. Not that with diet pills the speed of the toilet usage would be a problem....