The anger I had was overwhelming. The words were just looping over in my head. The flames I had in my being just kept growing and growing. I was silent I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to go away. I just wanted to go far away. I knew I would snap if I stayed in range with these people, even dad. We paced across the muddied pavement like outcasts. The cold and wind cut through our clothing and the street lamps barely lit our paths. It was depressing. Even the streets were more of a home then, the home I was accustomed to.
“Well the streets are a lot emptier than I thought them to be.” My dad hummed. He pulled out a cigarette and smoked it. I guess I wasn't the only one angry. The friendly banter wouldn't change how I felt. I wouldn't talk either. After dad finally noticed his attempts weren't working, he got angry.
“What are you angry about? Why won't you talk to me?” he said sharply.
I didn't answer.
“So, where are you going?” my dad asked.
“Away.” I answered.
“Away where?” he asked.
I turned my head and found building engulfed in graffiti and artistic talent. It was coming to me the longer I stared at it. I could called Miki. She wouldn't turn me down. She loved me like family. I hadn't had much of a chance to call her since I started college. She wasn't aiming for a degree. She just wanted her art to be in a gallery. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number.
I said into the handset, “Hey, beautiful.”
“You have a girlfriend?” my dad inquired.
“It's been a while, Nate.” she giggled. Her voice was soft and warm. It made me happy to hear it. It eased my mind for the moment.
“So, I want to ask a favor of you.” I said.
“Shoot, you know I would never tell you no.” she said.
“Can I stay a night a your place?” I asked.
“Of course sweetheart, you're always welcome here.” Her tone was inviting.
“Thanks so much,” I said.
“When are you coming? So, I know when to be a great hostess.” she teased.
“In twenty, dollface.” I said smoothly.
“Alright, I'll see you in a bit. I love you.” she said sweetly.
“I love you too. Bye,” I said. With only a short exchange of words, my mood had changed instantly. That was Miki for you.
“Who was that?” My dad inquired.
“None of your business.” I said sharply.
“So where are you going?” he asked.
“None of your business.” I droned.
I changed my direction and started heading towards the M train. He followed me. He was still inquisitive about what I was doing. Everyone always acknowledged my presence, but always struggled to figure out who I was or what I was doing. My father was no different from all of the rest.
“Stop following me.” I calmly demanded.
“But I want-”
“Don't act like you care. Just because you're on this side of the fence with me doesn't make us friends, or friendly. You let mom control my life. You let her rip me to shreds anytime she wanted to. You let her relentlessly stab at my self worth and confidence. You let her make me into her passive conduit. Now, I'm done. I'm done with all of you. So please, don't follow me. If you follow me, may not be able to bear your presence. It'll drive me mad. It may even cause me to do things you never thought I'd do.” I said calmly.
My dad stopped dead his tracks. He didn't understand what I was saying or doing. He didn't understand anything. He was so shocked that a kid who always did what was asked of him was breaking the rules. There was a simple word really, liberation. For the first time in my life, I was not going to be the passive person I was bred to be. I wasn't going to mindlessly be a meal ticket. I was going to fight for myself. I was going to carve my own path instead of being pulled astray by blusterous demands of the downtrodden. The downtrodden, whom spent their money wastefully and have broken their trust with every living friend and relative they've ever known. I was not about to be controlled. I was not about to be a pawn.
I jogged down the block with my life in hand and got away from my dad. I finally made it to the train station. I swiped my metro card and headed for Queens. I sat down in the empty train car and looked out the window. It was still dark, but the further along the train went, the brighter the street lamps got. I turned my head back and put on my headphones. I was a savage beast and I needed to be soothed. It wasn't like the light above my head was helping. It was flickering. The train stopped and picked up a passenger off the platform. It was a girl and she looked like all the other people who took this train. Stereotypical to her gender. Fashionable, but meek. She analyzed me with her green eyes. Just like all the others, she studied me but still was confused. But I could tell what was going on in her head all too well. I just didn't care about it.
After about twenty minutes of being on the train, I finally got off the train. I was in Queens and ready to go to Miki's place. I walked down a few more empty blocks and made a few smart turns until, I arrived at a red apartment building. I rang her bell and awaited an answer.
She asked through the microphone, “Who is it?”
“Nate.” I answered.
She didn't hesitate to buzz me right in. The door opened and I went up the stairs to the third floor. I knocked and she answered. When she opened the door I was shocked. She still looked the same, maybe even a little better. Miki was a five and a half feet tall. She was beautiful. Her hair was curly now and orange. It complimented her well. Her eyes were still intoxicating and beautiful. They were almond shaped, but strangely went up like and Egyptian's. They were also a pretty amber. She told me it was a terrible trait she inherited from her father. Her skin was still lovely and caramel colored, even if she often griped about the moles she had coming up. Her shape had changed a little and had become more refined, even a little more attractive. She had a perfect hour glass figure. It was a wonder why she thought herself to be something other than, beautiful. She wore her iconic This is the End shirt with boxers and fuzzy ferret slippers. She twisted her lips a bit and looked at me.
“Hey, dollface.” I grinned.
“Get your ass in here so I can give you a hug. That hallway's drafty.” she chuckled.
I walked in and gave her a hug. I know I missed her a whole hell of a lot. She was the only one who gave a crap about me during my high school years. She was the only one who probably knew the most about me.
“You're so cold, Nate.” she said. She didn't break away from my embrace.
“Duh, I was outside.” I said softly.
“Not about that, you haven't paid me a visit since June. It's December now. Where were you?” she asked.
“Away,” I answered. My tone was soft. My eyes began to wander away from her gaze.
“Well, I'm not gonna make you tell me what happened. Only if you want to.” she left my embrace. She lead me through the short hallway into her living room. It was pretty cool. A few paintings here and there of the heroes she had drawn, red walls and white lining, an open kitchen. She was doing well, well at least better than most her age.
“I ordered pizza if you want any, there's also Pepsi, Sierra Mist or Mountain Dew in the fridge if you want any.” she said casually. She sat on her rounded couch and picked up her PlayStation controller. She turned on Netflix and waited for me to join her. I picked up a slice and sat next to her.
She put her head on my shoulder and said, “You really should learn to unwind more. Also, you got taller.”
I forgot I still had my duffel bag on my shoulder and my backpack on my back. I tossed all my stuff in a neighboring chair and got a little more comfortable. I put my arm around her and felt her warmth. She was like a space heater.
“Better?” I teased.
“Yes,” she answered.
“So, what do you mean I got taller?” I grinned.
“You look like you're almost six feet. You're so tall.” she sighed.
“Nah, you're just really short, dollface.” I chuckled.
“Yeah, whatever.” she said. She put on The Walking Dead.
“I see you still like jalapeno pizza.” I said looking at the slice.
“Yeah, but there's also cheese and tomato. I know you can't handle the fire.” she smirked.
“I can handle it, just don't like my buns being on fire.” I replied.
“Ah, in a minute this is going to sound like an episode of South Park, so I'm going to stop you right there.” she said.
“So, I know this going to sound direct. But, what happened?” I asked.
“Well, I got rid of my asshole boyfriend and started clean. I wrote about it, made some cash and well got this place. I cut my hair and started growing it naturally. I've also been working out.” Miki answered.
“Great stuff,” I said.
“What's up with you?” she asked.
“Well, I stopped putting up with my folk's crap and now I'm going to work heavily on my new game.” I answered.
“What's the name of it?” she asked. She was the first person to ask the name of it, instead of wanting to see it.
“The Depths.” I answered.
“Oo, sounds like it's gonna be good.” Miki grinned.
She continued, “While you're here take full advantage of my video game library, and plus membership. I know you've been through hell tonight. I can smell it on you. So, I'll be a good hostess.”
“Thank you, Miki.” I said.
“No problem. I know what it's like to be alone and everyone is just shitting on your dreams. When you have no one to support you.” Miki said earnestly.
“I love you.” The words seemed like they just slipped out of my lips. I didn't really mean to say them, but I meant it.
“I love you too, Nate. Now, stop being mushy and watch Rick and the gang.” she said playfully.
“What if I don't want to watch Rick and the gang?” I said playfully.
“Then, what would you want to do?” Miki looked up at me. Her soft amber eyes seemed like the pierced through my soul. It seemed like she wanted to do something but, refrained from doing it.
“I -” I stopped myself. I knew what I was about to say Miki would be ready to do. I grabbed my laptop bag nervously and opened it.
“What were you about to say, Nate?” Her eyes became sharp. The scrutiny in her eyes was evident. She wasn't dumb. She was smarter than us all, even if she played meek and chilled.
“That I wanted to show you my game.” I sighed. I tried to keep my cool tone going.
“I'll play along.” Miki grinned.
“I'm not playing.” I stated.
“Yeah you are.” she giggled.
“Whatever.” My cool tone went sour. I opened the folder on my desktop and let her play the small bit of the game I coded. I got lost in watching her play. The enthusiasm. I never really saw that in people when they played. I only saw such anger and such seriousness all for a thing that was suppose to be for entertainment. For a moment, my soul was pleased. There was finally someone in the world who didn't piss me off. Someone who wasn't intrusive or deeply cared about things that didn't concern them. She understood me a lot more then she often thought. I wasn't special. I was just me.
“Would you like to do the voice acting for the wife?” I asked. I finally realized I stared at her for far too long.
“Course, she seems like a badass character. Well, until she gets sick.” Miki said. She continued, “I can't wait till you finish. I'll buy it and love it.”
“Then I'll work faster.” I said.
“So, tell me what you were going to say before.” she gave me back my laptop.
“I told you I wasn't going to say anything.” I said. I was nervous. Sadly, my cheeks weren't helping. I could feel the blood rushing there.
“Nathaniel, stop being so attractive. Say something stupid.” she demanded.
“What?” I said in shock.
“I don't know why, but I have the strangest urge to-” she picked up her phone and looked at it. She pretended to text someone.
“Who's gonna send you a text at 1 A.M in the morning?” my tone is sly.
“I'm dropping hints, you finish the rest.” Her tone did a one eighty from sweet and relaxing to seductive and violent. I was nervous. My heart rate increased dramatically. Then I just let instinct take over. There was no use worrying about things. Things only happened when action is taken. I pulled her into my lap and whispered seductively, “Finish, what?”
“Nate, don't make me kiss you. What you're doing is really, really hot right now. Stop being attractive. Say something stupid.” Miki bit her lip nervously. I've seen this bit before. She'd bite her lip and then scan you with her eyes looking for reasons why: she shouldn't live in the moment, reasons why she should stay morally pure, reasons why she should say no, reasons why she shouldn't be impulsive. Then she would forget everything she was thinking about in that moment and just do it.
“I don't know if it's just for tonight or if it's for forever, but I want you Miki. Let me have you, if it's just for tonight.” I whispered into her ear. I held most of my feelings back because, I didn't want to promise anything. The girl had already suffered serve damage from the first dbag she was with. He hurt her badly. I didn't want to be apart of the bracket. If anything, I wanted to erase him from her mind for good.
“Promise you won't ruin me, promise that you won't hurt me, promise me that this won't end badly, Nathaniel.” Miki said with pleading lips. Her tone was soft and fragile. I knew she was revealing a piece of herself that no one ever got to see.
“I won't. I promise. Remember, I love you. You're special to me.” I said. I was honest. She was special to me. I knew I would keep her around. Besides, she was about to be the first person to sit on the meat the girls always talked about.
“Stop being sweet, Nate.” she said.
“I'm not like those other guys. I'm not going to ruthless. Kinky, sure. Ruthless, never. I'll tell you whatever I think, whether it's about your beauty or how much I care about you. You know I don't do the asshole mentality. I'm above it.” My words were honest.
“You are so hard headed.” she smirked.
She placed her palm on my face and kissed me. Her lips were warm. Her body adjusted instantly on my lap. She was less timid and more assertive. Miki made herself comfortable as she turned up the volume on the TV. I pulled her close and kissed her. Her lips were nice. This feeling of warmth after freezing for so long was nice. I wanted more of it. I wanted all of the warmth she had to offer me. I wanted satisfaction. I wanted it in all means of the word. I slid my hands up her shirt and felt every curvature and impurity. It was pleasing to hear the 'Mhmms' slip out of her lips as she kissed me. But, I wanted to hear them at louder volumes. I wanted her to make them just for me. I left her lips and sucked on her neck hard.
“Nate, slow down.” she moaned.
I sucked harder on her neck.
“Ooohh,” slipped out of her lips instinctively.
I laid her down and peeled off every piece of clothing she had on.
I whispered playfully looking at her naked frame, “You're lucky you don't have any handcuffs or this would be a lot more interesting.”
“A man who loves power and dominance. Nate stop being so sexy, my pussy was already drooling and throbbing from your little speech. You're making it hurt. Stop it.” she seemed like she was enjoying herself. She was also getting to see something that no one ever saw.
I pulled her panties down and revealed my prize. Her lips were swollen and engorged with juices. Her lubricant dripped out of them teasingly.
“Oh my.” my tone was smooth.
“At least take your shirt off for me. I'm the only one naked here and about to be exploited for moans and ego building satisfaction.” Miki's tone was humorous.
“Mmm, okay but I don't work out.” I said. I took off my shirt like she commanded.
“I am going to squirt without having you even touch me, Nate.” she said in awe.
My muscles were no big deal. I did a lot of manual labor, so I guess that's where they came from. But they weren't bulging or anything they were just medium and defined.
“I didn't know you could squirt.” I said slyly.
“So many things you learn when your bored.” she said.
I raised a brow and continued on. I was overwhelmed with lust, love and anything in between. The more I stared at her lips the more I just wanted to steal her warmth and let her ride in the currents of pleasure. I ran my fingers up and down her lips. They were moist and her centerpiece throbbed rhythmically. I ran my finger over it and felt it swell under my control. I grinned a little to myself.
“Are you going to tease me all night?” Miki said.
“Maybe,” My tone was sly as I fondled with her.
I continued to slide my fingers up and down her lips until I got bored. She wasn't really making noise. She was able to control herself more, than she thought. So I lowered my head and licked her lips. I felt her quiver. I pressed my tongue against her centerpiece and waited for her to moan my named.
“Ah, Nate...keep going.” she said in between moans.
I grinned as I continued. Her taste was sweet, I guess to match the amount of hidden innocence she had. After I felt like she suffered enough torture, I stopped. I also was undergoing some torture. My pants was slightly tight. I was having fun, a little too much fun. I unzipped them and took a breath. I had such a strong urge to just stroke myself. Then I remembered, there was a girl in the room who caused it. Miki flashed me a devious smile before touching it. She stroked it lovingly.
“I kinda knew this was hiding in there. I guess tonight I'm lucky.” she said.
She shimmied off my boxers and kissed it. She was very good at making it harder. As she lowered her head, I stopped her. I was a bit nervous and I didn't want her to have more emotional crap to deal with later. Besides, it was my show.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Pleasuring you. What? You can't be the only one who gets to hear the moans of their victims. That turns me on too.” Miki said.
“Not tonight. Tonight, you just fade away in the currents of pleasure.” I whispered into her ear. I paused and whispered, “Sit on it.”
She slowly slid it inside her inch by inch. It was warm, wet and tight inside her and I wanted to be completely inside her. So badly I wanted to just shove it inside of her. But, I acknowledged she bit her lip in pain.
“Ahh,” slipped out of her lips.
“Do you want to stop?” I asked. Though I didn't want to stop anything.
“N-no, you know me I love pain. So, I don't- mind if you're a little big.” Miki sighed.
I grew impatient and inched it in at a quicker rate. Miki looked shocked, but embraced it anyway.
“So, are you ever gonna give me a little satisfaction?” she whispered.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“This shouldn't be your show you know.” she said.
“Not tonight.” my tone was still smooth. I looked her in the eye and kissed her one last time as the need for satisfaction grew. I moved my hips rhythmically making sure she would enjoy every bit and I would be satisfying my hunger. The tension grew in my body and I began to move increasingly faster. My nerve endings were on edge and the stimulation increased. It felt so good inside of her. It was only worsened when I heard her scream my name repeatedly. I was a wolf, a demon, a true relic of the darkness. I was horrible down to the core. I ignored her pleas to slow down or stop completely. I got to point it felt like I was going to burst and slowly rocked my hips back and forth.
“You're something else, Nate.” Miki said wearily.
“Shush, just relax.” I said.
“Don't tell me you love me, when your done. Just hold me close and keep me warm.” she said.
I finished brutally, but kept her close.