So kiss me goodbye
On the offchance I make it out alive
Kiss me goodbye
See you on the other side
Dear Mrs. Wickerbiscuit,
First, allow me to apologize for the smell. I deemed it necessary to stop the sink with meat cuttings and leave the tap dripping to satisfy myself that you would realize I had left.
Consider this my formal notice. I have left my furniture for your own use and sold any personal items of no use to either of us, should you decide to advertise the apartment as furnished. The new tenant should be aware, however, that the decayed steak smell may take several weeks to air out.
Do not attempt to contact me. Do not attempt to send any care packages.
I have left an extra month's rent in your letterbox for your troubles.