You know those guys who are just so gorgeous that you can't say no to them?
Can't say no when they ask you out the first time even though it's fairly evident that they barely have two brain cells bumping together and rattling around up there?
Can't say no when they ask if you want to spend the night even though you know that a great time in bed is not at all the same as the great relationship you're looking for?
And finally, can't say no when they ask you if you also enjoy their absolute favorite past time, four by fouring (for all you non rednecks who don't know what this is, look it up, it ain't pretty).
OK, here's the deal, I am not an unadventurous person, I like to have my fun with the best of them. I am not a prude or snob who thinks you can only have fun at a wine tasting or art exhibit. But I'll tell you what I am definitely not and that is a four by fourin', beer drinking, belching, farting, mud sluggin' mama. No sir.
First of all, if I had known what four by fourin' actually entailed, I would have worn a couple of sports bras to try and keep the girls from jiggling and bouncing around more than a bowl of jello.
Second, I would have had the foresight to tie the rope he had sitting in the back of the truck around myself a few times and attach it to something so that I wouldn't have fallen off when he hit the biggest hole in the ground any of those good ol' boys had ever seen.
So, fast forward a bit to the emergency room at the hospital....