The most recent victory of the renowned St. Teuthis's School for the Graphologically Gifted chess team has been thrown into controversy. The opposing school, St. Physeter's Academy in West Wallingford, claimed that the Teuthis players would slip captured pieces up their sleeves, then return them to the board.
"After a while, you would think they didn't lose any pieces," Mark Rook, St. Physeter chess team captain, declared indignantly. "It's amazing what some people will resort to for a win."
The player that St. Physeter's accused most was the beloved senior Ray Alfil, arguably the best chess player East Wallingford has ever seen. After rumors began to fly, Alfil calmly requested, with all the grace and class of a chess master, to give a public statement.
St. Teuthis's school auditorium was packed to standing-room-only capacity, with about a third of those present associated with various Wallingford publications. The entire St. Teuthis chess team filed onto the stage, all in jackets. Alfil addressed the crowd: "I understand how St. Physeter's could try to accuse us of piece concealment, and their story is thoroughly convincing." A ripple of whispers reigned, but Alfil calmly raised his hand for instant silence. "However, there is one problem with their story." Everyone leaned for dramatic effect. Barely concealing a grin, he continued. "The story goes that we hid chess pieces in our sleeves." He nodded to his team, and simultaneously they all removed their jackets. The crowd gasped; a student reporter for the West Wallingford Journal fainted. "They've forgotten about our uniform: black St. Teuthis t-shirts, with the sleeves torn off."
When asked about the statement, all members of the St. Physeter's chess team declined to comment.