Earlier today, freshly released from his hospital bed, Milton Stilton announced that he had succeeded in booking the Elmwood Morris Dancers to perform in Wallingford on May Day as part of the traditional May Day celebrations. The Elmwood Morris is in great demand around the whole county and this can be counted as a significant coup, and a clear statement to the incumbent Mayor that Milton is still determined to challenge him to a re-match for the Mayoralty.
Milton's press conference was however first marred by a question from the West Wallingford hacks as to whether Milton meant East or West Wallingford. As Milton stumbled over his words, steadily turning an ashier shade of grey, those good reporters from the East Wallingford Press Corps began shouting abuse at the hacks from West Wallingford, who began looking for weaponry around the room. This had the potential to turn ugly, had the Mayor not chosen that moment to storm into the Press Room with several unusually large and wide bodyguards in a V-formation behind him. Milton shrieked and threw himself through the nearest window, sustaining minor cuts and a major head injury in the process.
Elmwood Morris Dancers were established in the late 1600s under the guidance of Augustus Shiznit as a sword-dancing troupe of seven men and their mascot, a church-hating cat called Norris. The last time they danced in East Wallingford there were 47 casualties including an accidental beheading, and St. Francine the Misquoted, notably in the audience, was supposedly heard to say,"My, that's a massive sac!" Her hagiographer insists that she was misheard, and actually said, "My, that's an attractive cat."
In the event that the Elmwood Morris Dancers do perform in East Wallingford, the St. Teuthis playing fields will be the venue, and the St. Teuthis Ice and Grass Combined Hockey team will stand guard.