The nefarious Catnap Burglar, in one of his boldest schemes, has caught himself, and in doing so has sued the city for twenty million dollars. In his wily attempt to break into the East Wallingford Jewelry store, he pried up a man-hole cover from the middle of Main St., and heaved it through the plate glass window. The store's security system, having been shut off to save on the electrical bill, failed to alert the police. Catnap, climbed through the broken window, smashed all the glass counter tops and scooped up all the jewelry. Having forgotten to bring along a means to carry the loot, he removed his long johns, tied the legs closed, and filled them with rings and things. Once his long johns were full of loot he struggled them over his shoulder, then climbed back out the window. In the dark, and forgetting about the man-hole he stepped into it..
The lawsuits are flying fast and furious. Catnap is suing the city, claiming they used light weight man-hole covers, or he wouldn't have been able to pick it up. He is also suing the jewelry store for the broken glass on the sidewalk, causing him to cut his feet and hands. The store is suing the burglar alarm company for not telling them that they wouldn't be covered if the alarm system was disabled. And the police are suing Ford Motor Co. claiming that their police car wouldn't have fallen into the man-hole if Ford had made bigger tires.
Byline by: Moreass Wide