Local Professor Cracks Mystery of Coat Hangers

At a press conference on Sunday, celebrated scientist Professor Sartor Perpleski of the Jargon Institute for Research in Sciency Stuff has declared that he has solved the Coat Hanger Problem.

As some may already know, the Coat Hanger Problem is a very difficult proof in tailoring mechanics that had been very difficult to solve. It easily rivaled Fermat’s Last Theorem in terms of lack of progress as far as obtaining a plausible answer was concerned. It basically dealt with the issue of the square hangers so popular in East Wallingford. Anyone who has grown up in East Wallingford will recall that many tailors and haberdashers in the locality use perfectly square hangers which have no inclined angles to retain clothes on them. Yet their design is such that clothes have never been known to fall off the square hangers.

Now, Professor Perpleski has figured out the answer to this engineering marvel. He postulates that the clothes are actually physically attracted to the square hangers, due to an appealing appearance that is also quite functional in terms of the unique energy field it is able to create. Whether this process is chemical or magnetic, is something that is still open for debate. However, Perpleski has proven beyond doubt that this is the reason for the apparent ability of the square hangers to literally cling onto their clothes. Of course, some other theorists do claim that Perpleski is a perverted maniac who likes to whoop it up with the square hangers, but the proof for these allegations is still not forthcoming. More importantly, Perpleski plans to put to use his newly discovered attractive force between coats and their hangers, which he dubs the Hangover effect, by creating a new potent electric field generator consisting of several miniature square hangers worn inside one’s innerwear, which by the amplification of its strength can be used to attract the clothes of members of the opposite sex. He plans to name it after his distant cousin, Lyka Horse, and so he is officially going to call it the Hung Lyka Horse Field Generator.

The veracity of this machine is yet to be tested. However, many persons have already placed orders for this product anonymously.

Once again, Professor Perpleski deserves our recognition and we hope that he will take hanger technology to new heights.



Ian Boffin, Sciency Correspondent



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