the dynamics of destroying a relationshipMature

so, you meet someone. you wait around in your little box of life with all the little different aspects surrounding you, enveloping you in all the things the aspects mean, then someone comes along. and that person is just perfect. she could have those pouty lips that are always shiny, like the ones sported by beached models on a shoot in oahu, or hes got those deep dark green eyes that just peirce into you and the feeling of this makes your little heart beat just a little faster. so you spend time with this person, a veteran, will spend this time assessing this new vibrant person, i mean, the fact that this person's mere presence initiates a physical reaction in you that you arent in control of should set alarm bells ringing but the first few times it doesnt, and why should it? your still wrapped up snug in your naivity!

so you got the comfort blanket of naivity draped around your shoulders, sitting in the shining shed of the aspects of yourself and you cant believe your luck that this delectible person is here now, in front of you..interacting with you! so what do you do? what any one would do, you fall in love......when has falling EVER EVER been a good thing! the fact its called falling at this point just seems like romantic  self destructiveness. if it even occurs to you at this point but its still ok, even if you realise this fact its ok. from now on everything is gonna be peachy cus you found a person you are attracted to who you dont loathe being around! so its all good! the world seems to turn overnight into a fiftys disney cartoon, you know the ones where the main character is waking down a path and the happy squirrells and singing birds and even the path is looped, over and over, the same tree going by, the same tuft of grass, the same little notes that pop out and hang in the air before popping and disappearing...cus your whistling too...its what people in love do, i dont make this shit up, it just happens!

so for a while, maybe a long while, your flying, litterally, your feet seem to have no contact with the ground. later there will be contact but no friction but we come to that in a while, and soon you are so much a single entity you and this special person you hold so dear, in some cases in higher esteem than even yourself, that you cease to be an single individual. living together, sleeping together, sharing food and drinks and seats on the bus. and its perfect! im smiling for you seriously.

and then something even more special and fated happens. (because obviously, the meeting of you n yours was written in the stars, pre-ordained by soothe sayers and seers as the greatest love of your time, possibly saving the world with your encouraging public displays of affection) the first factor slides in, of course it isnt recognised as the first contributing factor because at this point your eyes are still full of the curves of their face or the way their hair falls across an eye but it arrives nonethe less. and this can be bet upon! its a certainty...

so jump some time ahead, maybe a week maybe three years depending on the personalities envolved and the factor, like a naughty schoolboy pretending to be a splinter goes deeper and deeper, the first factor is inevitably the killer blow but its secret lies in the fact that it is swept under the carpet and left to develop and fester and grow to gargantuan proportions til neither of you can ignore it, its fed and given strength by the other factors which start to roll in slowly but steadily, like waves. fated to break.

and break you will do, you see, once the factors start knocking at the door theres nothing you can do. its officially over at that point, working through it, accepting it as a part of the beautiful person you love is like opening your chest cavity with a chain saw and hoping your shirt will keep it close together....sooner or later its all gonna come out. its just a matter of who wants to survive the most. and thats why its over at that point, instead of placing the other behind you while the impact rushes toward you its human nature to cower, dont feel bad. its actually MEANT to happen like this, thats right, its SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN......

so the first factor is twitching away under the carpet where one of you has niftily hidden it see, this give the factor power, 9 times out of 10 when the factor turns up its like the evil twin of your love. an evil twin that leaves the cap off the tooth paste, of doesnt bother to iron socks, or even has a bit of a sketchy taste in music, and your beautiful partner isnt even aware the factor exists, let alone is growing under the rug in the living room!  so lets say for the sake of ease the factor is a poor taste in music. nice and simple, you try to ignore the shitty generic sounding soulless RNB that she fills her ipod with and insists you listen to one headphone. you cant say no thanks! even though you loath RNB, you been sharing headphones since you got together, it was on e of the little quirks that made you both shining and special as you basked in the glowing warming sun of a new love situation, if you say no thanks she will wander whats wrong, you been doing it from the start, an in joke ritaul that defines your cuteness as a couple. so you say cheers and place the earphone in you ear.....some money grabbing pretty boy american is idly singing over an over produced beat and your hating it. every milisecond. its driving you mad but you have to do these things.......you love that person!

and before you know it your picking up all sorts of random irritate-the-fuck out of you sortof habits you never knew your love had. you cant say anything, ask em to stop. telling em their musical taste is technically a crime will only hurt them so you keep it to yourself, soon you have a catalogue of personality offences that your botling up, hoping its just a phase.....nope, this annoying shit that person does has been going on from the start...you jus didnt know it! by this time your eyes had turned to big pulsating hearts! so you bottle, and list and bottle and list. til you are frothing at the mouth, seeing flashing lights, experiencing pains in the chest. you may be at this point wandering, if im now loating this thing i got with so much maybe that person is loathing me two! and in one fell swoop the relationship is over. once that thought occurs everything after that is practice for the next on, get the lines ready and so on......

and what you were hoping, that sly little get out guilt free clause. doesnt exist.....your partner is probably more in love with you now. so when you drop the bombs that they should be locked away for liking r kelly, you hate that persons subtle intricacys and your not that attracted to them anymore....it will crush that person. totally decimate them. and rightfully so...cant have that person falling in love again! i mean its tempting butr the more it happens and you defy the self preserving logic of not doing this thin then more will occur. imagine it. monday morning and theres a mass epidemic, everyone feels to ill (hurt destraught suffocating lonely) to work so the economy is ALL phucked up cus of an imbalance of minute amounts of liquid in the brain. oh dear.

so its all over. the relationship dead. the once beautiful thing you both nurtured has been brutally decapitated and dragged around the block and your alone. possibly crying, contemplating suicide. wandering how long it will be till your once love is in someone elses bed. let me help you out.....it......wont.......be.......long. accept it now! think about it over and over...itl help trust me, you need to drill it into your skull, it doesnt matter if there was once love, that person had shit taste in music, idiotically low self esteem and was a bit of a melodramatic hypercrite...its ok to hate them.....with all those flaws you cant have really loved them anyway! (stock coping mechanism)..now here is the part that will help you. this is what you been reading this for.....you need to tear out your emotion center. fuck it, you dont need it, look at what it did to you...that and that bitch/bastard. fuck them, at least you got your shed of aspects....only its cold now without the blanket of naivaty, all you have now is the thin cotton shirt of bitter experience. but hey, it may be cold on your own but at least you can listen to the music you want... 

The End

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