I couldn't bring myself to look at Max after that. I don't know why, because I wanted to look at him so much... but I couldn't. I just couldn't. So instead I looked at the warm-ice heart. Which still wasn't coming back.
Abbie was looking worriedly at me, but I just ignored her. I ignored everyone. Even the voice, which was still trying to convince me that everything would be OK.
So, the heart wasn't coming back. But it wasn't getting any smaller, so that had to be a good thing, right?
I flicked my eyes up at Max, who was sitting directly opposite me across from where the fire would have been if we could've had one. I saw in that brief moment that he was fingering the box of promises, the memory box in the snow not two centimetres away from him.
He'd once promised never to hurt me, not ever.
I gritted my teeth fighting the urge to tell him what I'd been meaning to tell him before, but then I gave in and said it anyway.
"The memory is in the box. All the memories go into the box"
"What?" he looked up quickly, he'd obviously not been expecting me to talk to him for a while. I avoided looking at his eyes.
"The memory" I repeated uselessly. "It's in the box"
He sighed. "What memory?"
"The argument. The argument and..." I trailed off, focusing my eyes on a spot about a metre in front of me.
"Sara... please. I didn't mean to hurt you. And I know I have, so don't even think about pretending you're fine. I just... I just wanted to tell you, 'cause I knew you wanted to know..."
"All the strong memories I have" I told him, looking up to show him I understood, but not meeting his gaze "Will go into that box, until you open it"
"Just as all the promises will go into this one" Max put the box of promises on top of the memory box. I nodded. "Sara, you just don't understand. I do still love you, you know. I... I've screwed everything up" he groaned.
"I don't mind" I finally sighed. "It was a shock, that's all"
"That is not all" he muttered. And then there was an awkward silence. Me and Max never had awkward silences. I had a moment of indecision and then got up, walked over to him and sat down next to him. He looked at me. I pushed my fingers through his and he gave me a small smile, so I hugged him. He hugged me back. And it wasn't any different from the other times we'd hugged, like I'd expected it to be. It was just a hug.
Just a hug. Sigh.