Nathaniel didn’t say anything for a while, only taking in full what the doctor had said. It is true, my child…, the voice inside him said, You are truly a wonderful person, Nathaniel, and no one on this Earth can change that unless you let them…
He nodded in reply to the voice, and the doctor understood this. Finally, he spoke.
“So, what made you want to become a psychiatrist?”
As he said this, he saw again what had before flashed through the doctor’s eyes. This time he was sure it was pain…
The doctor drew a heavy sigh and took off his spectacles, scratching his head.
“When I was young, I had an older brother just like you. He looked a bit different, but personality wise? Identical, no question about it.”
“Was he depressed?”
The doctor nodded.
“Very… but he never showed it. One night, he wanted to sneak out after curfew, and I didn’t try to stop him…”
He paused solemnly.
“And?” Nathaniel breathed.
“The last thing he said to me was ‘I’ll miss you, Emmett…’”
Nathaniel’s newly blue eyes were filled with sympathy for the doctor’s loss. He was at a loss for words, but still tried to come up with something.
“I’m sorry, I-”
The doctor put up his hand, “It’s ok. Without feeling that pain, I never would’ve become what I am today.”
“What did you want to be before that happened?”
“A deacon… that’s how I became good friends with Father Paul. He taught me everything he knew about God, and it was a hard decision to let go of what I wanted to become a doctor.”
“Why didn’t you just go for what you wanted?”
The doctor shook his head solemnly, “There was no way I could go for what I wanted… not after what happened to my brother.. I know that I have to spend the rest of my life helping others so that they don’t end up as he did.”
Nathaniel’s eyes softened a bit, understanding the doctor’s reasoning. Something inside him compelled him to say, “It’s good that you want to save the broken, but that is no reason to force yourself into a career you didn't want in the first place.”