“You didn’t expect God to do it all for you, did you? He doesn’t hand things out as free gifts; they mean something, and you must work with it as well.”
Nathaniel pondered this, then spoke.
“I’m not sure how to fight it though…”
The doctor pulled into a parking space and let the engine purr for a few seconds before turning the ignition off. He turned to Nathaniel.
“What is happiness?”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, and his face became distorted; he shook his head slowly.
“I don’t know…”
Ther doctor smiled.
“Yes you do, you just need to think about it, and it’ll be easier to think with some food on your stomach.” he said, motioning toward the Steak n’ Shake.
Nathaniel nodded agreeingly and got out of the car.
As they walked into the Steak n’ Shake, Nathaniel noticed a short brunette ordering something at the counter. He stopped where he was and she turned around, pulling a sharp gasp from Nathaniel’s lungs.
Her eyes met his, and for a split second, Nathaniel froze inside. He couldn’t move, and he felt the scattered pain in his heart coalesce in the pit of his chest. A bolt of fear traveled through him at lightning speed. He found himself worrying about her all over again; about the hurtful words she’d said, about the way she’d blown everything off, about the destruction she’d wrought upon his heart. There she stood, her eyes indifferent, but for a split second he thought he saw them flinch in surprise. She approached Nathaniel and the doctor.
As soon as the words escaped her lips, his throat tightened and dried up.
“Hi.” he managed in a forced breath.
“It’s been a while.. Whatchya been up to?”
Her eyes gazed full into his, and he almost couldn’t stand it.
“Nothing much…” and he added in his head: Just cutting myself every night because I’ve come to hate myself for this pain…
She squinted, studying him, and interupted his thoughts by speaking again.
“What happened to your eyes?”