The doctor frowned.
“I thought you said you realized your mistake. Certainly you’d know why you were down?”
“Well, there’s that, but sometimes I’d wake up, and it felt as though my heart were being sawn in half.. I’d try to find something that fit the pain, but nothing did. Nothing at all…”
The doctor stroked his chin, fascinated.
“Nothing at all, you say? Perhaps you were beginning to feel numb. You said that you’d shut out your friends subconciously, and doing so would’ve supposedly taken the ‘right side of your heart’, as you put it.”
Nathaniel took a long, deep breath.
“I don’t know… the only thing that seemed to satisfy this.. feeling, if you can call it that, was cutting..”
“And when did you first start this?”
The boy sighed, his face reflecting the utmost bleak expression.
“When I read something a friend of mine wrote…”
“And what did they write?”
“It’s sad that the same friend who brought me so much joy is the same friend who’s bringing me so many tears..."
Nathaniel’s expression was distraught, torn in the most painful way the doctor had ever seen.
“This.. had a large impact on you?”
“Yes… the moment the words caught my eyes, I knew it was about me. My friend had been talking to me earlier, and I was trying to explain my hurt feelings to her. She tried her best to make me feel better, but when I told her nothing helped, she blamed me for being selfish… and I had been, in a way. Seeing what she wrote just kinda pushed me over the edge…”
“To cutting.” the doctor stated, and Nathaniel sighed in despair.
“Yes… and almost every night since has been the same.. every day is a replay of the last. Even when I get out to do something with friends, the pain is only pushed to the back of my mind. When I’m by myself again, the pain comes rushing back, almost worse than before… it’s like a never-ending free fall…”
“And what’s at the bottom of this free fall?”
Nathaniel didn’t answer, but the doctor was told quite enough by the tear running down his cheek.