It's Back Even Though it Didn't Really LeaveMature

Chapter 35

     It was coming back. Worse. The medicine had stopped working completely. Everything was falling apart again. I wanted out. Now.

     My mind was everywhere. I couldn’t focus on one thing other than death. I cut myself over and over, each and every night, just to feel. Watching the blood pour out of my skin was a relief. I don’t know why though. It just was.

     I had gotten even better at hiding my scars. I found places that would always be hidden by something. There was even a list of excuses on my laptop to blame the cuts on in case anyone saw them.

  1. My cat attacked me.
  2. My sirius came back.
  3. These scars were old.
  4. I fell down the stairs.
  5. I scraped up my leg on the concrete.
  6. I had a nightmare, and instinctively scratched my legs.
  7. My project involved drawing cuts on.
  8. My skin doesn’t react properly to shaving.
  9. I got bad rug burn.
  10. My dog climbed onto me.

     Those are just some of the pitiful excuses I came up with. I felt safer with the file on my computer, giving me alibis to the scars. That way I had several excuses, so it wasn’t always just my cat, or tripping down the stairs. This list nearly took away my fear of being caught, because I would have an excuse for everything. 

     By now, it was almost my fourteenth birthday. I didn’t want to make it until then, though, but I knew there wasn’t much I could do. It was only days away, and there wan’t anyway to die before then. I just had to wait it out, and plan to die before my fifteenth instead of fourteenth. Of course, if something did happen before my fourteenth birthday, I would be absolutely thrilled, but I couldn’t count on it.

The End

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