After my shower, I went to bed and fell asleep promptly. My mind kept wandering through the night, causing me to toss and turn in my bed. The cold made it much more uncomfortable, too. They always kept the hospital cold. I didn’t like it, because it made me feel miserable for some reason.
At one point when I woke up, I noticed that my socks had fallen off. I quickly put them back on, as I could barely feel my toes. I looked on the bottom of them, and there was a smiley face. Most would find this comforting, but me, being the pessimist I was, thought we were just trampling our happiness.
Everything that they did for us, I took the wrong way. Looking for the positives was definitely not something I was good at. Each thing that came my way, no matter how good it was, I’d turn into a negative thing. For example, if I got ice cream, I would just think that it’d make me more obese. I never thought about it’s taste or anything. Just that I’d be fatter.
Personally, I don’t think they realized I was doing that. I wouldn’t expect them to, either. Since I didn’t talk to them, they didn’t know, so they tried to work around that to treat me. Thinking about it now, I regret not talking to them, because after the week that I spent in the hospital, I was doing worse, but I was better at covering it up.
I had gotten discharged. They thought I was healthy enough to leave, because I convinced them that I was. That is probably one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made, because everything just started all over again once I left.