Morning came, and the previous night was just a blurry memory. I saw the cuts, and it all started to come back to me. I was thrown back into reality. By this point, I was serious. I was going to kill myself when the first opportunity came.
I began thinking of more ways to. I even considered paying someone to shoot me. I was so incredibly desperate.
My thoughts controlled me. I couldn’t think. I stopped talking to people in school entirely unless I was forced to speak. I completely shut down.
Most people don’t realize that’s what depression does to you, they simply think that all it does is make you sad. It doesn’t just make you sad, though. It makes you hurt. It makes you confused. It makes you lonely. It makes you kill yourself from the inside out.
That was my answer to everything. I wasn’t lying. I really was FINE.
Dying inside. Sad. Lifeless. Heartbroken. Numb. Moping. Despairing.
Lonely Dead. Gone. Lost. Fallen. Down.
Confused. Hurt. Silent. Scared. Awful. Left. Melancholy.
Sad. Broken. Deadly. Hated. Lies. Glum.
Hurt. Ugly. Useless. Forgotten. Bloody. Crying. Downcast.
I was fine.