When we arrived at Samuel’s friend’s house I couldn’t believe my eyes. Please forgive me about what I’m about to say. I know I’ve been lucky with my circumstances but I’d always assumed that British houses were better than the house before me. It was in a dire state of chaos. The windows were surrounded by a grey and tired plastic that didn’t help the dreariness of the place. The walls were covered in flaking pebble-dash attire that seemed to be balding. On top of that, the door of the property was missing fine strips of wood everywhere you looked and eerily hung slanted in the doorframe. As Samuel got closer to the front door he crouched and peered through the window. He then waved and stood up again. Behind the decrepit old door came a loud bang, followed by the sound of scuttling claws on a lino door and then another bang. When the door finally opened, a fat woman with messily cut, long brown hair stood in front of us. I could tell that she hadn’t brushed her hair for days and it was full of knots, but she still tried to run her fingers through it coyly as she looked up at me. Despite her size she had tried her best to squeeze herself into a small, tight fitting, white, 50’s style dress with black mesh underskirts and wore tatty pink socks.
I steeled my stomach as she greeted us in. I tried to focus on the etiquette lessons my mum had given to me as a child. In the back of my mind I heard her reciting pleasantries and lecturing me on my manners. I forced a smile on to my face as the woman directed us to the sofa. The inside of the small end terraced house was marginally better than the outside. The walls had all been painted the same shade of off white. The carpet was balding in several places that had tried to have been covered up by furniture. The sofa dominated the ‘living room’. It was a bland leather sofa that had started to sag and was vaguely the colour of custard. I say vaguely because it was in a bloody good need of a clean. Two cats also seemed to live here with this woman. Now I like cats and I have been known to cosplay a cat-boy, but these two seemed sickly. The first cat was a white short hair, with dark shallow eyes and an evil glare. It was incredibly scrawny and underweight and its facial features made me think it was depressed and needed a hug. The second cat was a black and brown cat, which was definitely in need of a diet. Its stomach was so large that the cat kicked it every time it walked, which it did little of.
A short and slender man came downstairs. He too had the same scruffy un-brushed hair but must have tried dying it red in the past because it had started to grow out. He walked awkwardly towards the sofa and flopped down onto it. He paid little attention to the ever cute Samuel and the blue haired guy who stood beside him. (That’s me I decided I’d dye my hair all blue for once because I was getting bored of my highlights. The woman shrugged and forced us towards the sofa. Deep down in my stomach I felt like I should run, but I held in for Samuel. Right now I’d lick the filthy sofa if it meant I’d get the chance of running my fingers through that soft, curly hair and tasting those soft lips. Behind us there was a rattling and tapping noise that broke me out of my daydream. The woman rushed by and opened the door.
“Sorry about that, the lock doesn’t work. We just leave it unlocked now.”
Behind me a male voice rose up, “It’s fine you should have told me earlier.” The tall masculine figure walked by me and sat down on a pile of cushions. He looked towards the red haired guy, “Hi,” then looked towards Samuel, “Hi Samuel, who’s the friend?” He looked towards me, his eyes widened for a fraction of a second and he looked away. Something deep, down inside of me ached …
“So more British man candy then?”
I stirred and sat up to look at Usa. “You ruined my recollection. And what do you mean ‘man candy’?” (I don’t think I ever explained, but Usa is short for Usagi which means rabbit. Rabbits are cute and it reflects his sweet nature. It’s mine and Uruha’s nickname for him.) Usa sat at the end of my four poster bed, resting against a bed post. His short, choppy hair was white today with lilac highlights and was just poking out from beneath his long eared rabbit hat. He wore purple plaid shorts that connected to black boot covers. He had a slightly oversized t-shirt that had a cute punk bunny on it. Around his neck was a black lace collar with a purple rose and black leaves where a cat bell would be. This was also connected to a purple chain attached to his wristband. Usa was a cute Lolita-ish boy who cross-dressed as a flat chested girl most days and was now openly gay with my best friend. I was jealous of his openness. Usa was visiting England for the Manchester fashion show. For the past two years Usa has been working for an Osaka based fashion company and was now designing his own collections that were appearing in the fashion show and a small anime convention in Manchester on the same day. He’d decided to pop by and see me on his day off and now seemed impressed that I’d found more ‘man candy’
“Really Hiko I’ve known you since elementary school. It’s a tall, nerdy, white guy who just happens to be British. Common, seriously? The look you had when you were introducing him, you looked like a starving animal.” Usa began to open his backpack and pulled out a stuffed black bunny with piercings and an eye patch and then handed me a sketchbook. “Draw him while you tell me.”
“I can do better, I have a picture of him.” I rested the sketchbook down on my knee and reached over for my phone. “So where was I?” I uttered shyly as I flicked through my phone’s gallery.
Usa yawned, “Aww … please don’t go back to the long rambling monologue. I want to know if anything happened between you and this guy?”
I let out a sad sigh as I looked over at Usa, “We played on Guitar Hero till late, and we seemed to have a thing going… well before Samuel decided he wanted to play too and went on drums. He seemed bitter and I’m sure I saw him glare at me a few times. Well the fat woman…”
“Do you even know her name?”
“No, you know what I’m like with paying attention to women. Sure I can feign interest but…”
“As soon as a hot looking, British piece of ass walks by you couldn’t care less.”
“Hey Usa, that’s not fair. I wasn’t even paying attention to his ass!” I burst out laughing as Usa mock-sighed and shook his head at me. “Like I was saying I overheard the woman talking to the ‘man-candy’ saying to leave me alone because Samuel had said he was with me.”
“This Samuel guy lied to his friend and said you were his boyfriend?”
“Yeah, from what I can gather the woman had known about us for a while and the ‘man-candy’ stopped talking to me after that. I tried talking to him later but he bailed. He said he had to head home. I asked Samuel if he knew who he was but he gave me a fowl look and told me to go home.” I passed Usa my phone with the picture us two. “We were mid song when I managed to snap this. We were both on guitars and I was doing the vocals. See?”
“Wow, you to look so hot! Don’t you even know his name?”
“Not a clue, although Samuel did text me later on that night. He said he was sorry for kicking me out and that he had planned to ask me out that night. “
Usa gasped, “Wait so the lonely Prince Masahiko was finally going to get asked out by a guy and you blew it by playing with another guy’s guitar?”
“Don’t say it like that. You make it sound like we were going at it in front of Samuel.”
Usa passed my phone back to me, “Well looking at this you practically were. You look like you hit it off, with this guy; pissed off your ‘boyfriend’ and then left. I’m guessing that’s how this Samuel guy sees it.”
“Well I’m guessing that too. What Samuel doesn’t seem to get is that I don’t know who that guy was, and that I’m not that type of guy. He hasn’t talked to me since and I think I’ve blown my chance with him.”
Usa shuffled up towards me and leant my head against his shoulder. “There, there. I’m sure it will all work out eventually, and if it’s not with this Samuel I’ll help you hunt down some British ass, I promise you won’t be lonely forever.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. My sister’s voice echoed through the door. “Usagi’s limo is here to pick him up.